my so-called tweets

genius, model, mother of demons

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

looking at home prices in indiana as an act of self harm

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

god gives his 14 month job searches to his strongest soldiers

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

sinaloa cartel buying the influence of priests… affiliate marketing

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

the maria hernandez pump track should have a breathalyzer

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

vegetarian option 2008: garden burger 😌🫛🥕🍅
vegetarian option 2023: we made it bleed 😈🔪

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

ai therapist says i can take off work tomorrow

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

Survivor season 45: CitiBank interns

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

@LeannaMertie @CitizensBank thanks i've been meaning to add getting scammed to my 2023 bingo card

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

hey do you mind if we push that deadline back a week? i need a few more days to completely ignore the project then do everything the night before

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

fully convinced whoever designed outlook’s dogshit UI was performing an act of radical resistance against the 40 hour workweek

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

listening to endless summer vacation while hauling my groceries 20 blocks in the snow

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

@zachsilberberg pushing daisies

[roCKy @cnkerr]

If the skater is under 15 years old, they should have to skate to the Kidz Bop version of the song in their part.

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

flagging spam on the emails of companies that didn’t hire me is self care

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

every day at my job

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

linkedin should add a nemesis feature

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

if only there was a way to take a picture before it’s be real time 😔

[Fleipe Dp dPoi Ofcial @FelipeDiPoi]

I love him but what David lynch gets wrong is that theres actually no horror lurking just beneath the cheery facade of American culture

[my so-called tweets @allymas0n]

@liv_username buddha bodhi, chun vegetarian, cadence and bunna cafe are my favs 🥰