Allyson

You can call me Al

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Save my streak, @duolingo !! The app keeps telling me I’m offline, both on WiFi and cellular. This is happening to my friends as well. Please help me, Duo!

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Just a reminder that every Florida Man starts off as a Florida Boy. #Idalia

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

You mean to tell me that after five years and countless burnt meals there actually is a battery in my smoke detector?

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Jarvis Moss. More goosebumps.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

I’m 30 seconds into Swamp Kings and I already have goosebumps.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

I miss summer.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

“I don’t get the joke but I think it’s funny”
-My mom

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

@ATRightMovies 👀 @kateccp

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

The guy on the plane next to me has a cooler labeled “lobsters and gel pack”

Are these lobsters alive?? And, if so, can I see them??

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

My mom to me, just now while on vacation- “Do you have my high school yearbook?”

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

First graders have discovered Rick Astley. This is not good.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Do dungeons have to be underground?

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

I’ve played nothing but Taylor Swift the last two weeks and yet the song stuck in my head is The Cheese Tax.

[Sam Ghali, M.D. @EM_RESUS]

Here’s the Chest X-Ray of a young girl suffering from a condition that is now the #1 cause of death in children and adolescents in the U.S.

What’s the diagnosis?

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

@TBLightning umm where can I find the album remix?
pls send, I’m ready for it.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

A guy is biking with bunny ears… I love the festive spirit but wrong holiday, my dude.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

There’s a plumber in my house and I can’t find him…

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Gal: I’m from Boston
Guy: Boston is a shitshow
Gal: Oh you’ve been there?
Guy: No, but I’ve seen The Departed

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Also, neither of these are on My List. Just because I’m watching Drive to Survive doesn’t mean I am into all things automotive.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

I’m begging you, @netflix, please turn off Autoplay after Headspace Guide to Sleep. Last night I was startled awake by the preview to RV. I put Headspace back on but 90 minutes later I was jolted awake by Turbo.

[Allyson @allyson_cooper]

Do you know how jarring it is to wake up next to a supercharged snail? I’ve been up since 3:30.