Al

officially the biggest midget in the game

[Does Noodle Have Bones @NoodlesBonesDay]

No bones today 💙

[Al @allysonloris]

@Ddemma9 @CrumblCookies @MotleyCrue No, no. When I bit into the Brownie Batter cookie I felt the gates of heaven themselves, open up. Doves cried as rays of light cast a sunlit halo around each chocolate morsel. God-like, these cookies.

[Crumbl @crumbl]

@Ddemma9 @MotleyCrue That's a hard hitting cookie 😳

[Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg]

I’m finna buy a Rocketship.

[an pigeon @imskytrash]

the boys are back in town

[Al @allysonloris]

@cyclebar is absolutely the worst. I have called/emailed and now even filed a complaint to the better business bureau about a mischarge and I’m still ignored?? Maybe Twitter will work?? Help me plz???

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

i am a:

⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 midwesterner

seeking:

⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a thunderstorm and tornado for entertainment

[Tim Hogan @timjhogan]

justifying a Taco Bell order at 11:42pm

[Taco Bell @tacobell]

If there isn’t a stray Taco Bell Sauce Packet in their car, they’re not for you.

[carl @CarlsBeef]

Ohio state sucks

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Bring. Back. Creed. https://t.co/pp9LG7o5On

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

once again. i have gone undrafted in the puppy bowl. i feel as though both teams. have missed an opportunity in me. but i still wish them the best. in their game today. i will be watching from the couch

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Speaking of super bowls:

[Brianna Chickenfry @BChickenfry]

I’m all for gender equality but I will never be shoveling a driveway thats for men

[Barstool Chicago @barstoolchicago]

BIG. DICK. NICK.

[Al @allysonloris]

SMOKED APPLEWOOD BACON CHICKEN TACOS

[Chili's Grill & Bar @Chilis]

JW but if you could bring back any Chili’s menu item, what would it be?

[Barstool Chicago @barstoolchicago]

LET’S FUCKING GO

[(parody) BILL NYE THO @Bill_Nye_Tho]

free Bobby Shmurda free all the whales trapped at Sea World