Almostanon

[Almostanon @almostanon]

So... hope all those politicians had their "thoughts and prayers" form letter ready yesterday...

[Almostanon @almostanon]

No, Twitter, I will not update my email settings... that's how they found me the last time.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

I thought of a tweet about writing the lyrics to our song on your heart... then I remembered there was recently a doctor who got sued for writing his initials on someone's liver...

[Almostanon @almostanon]

Sometimes you feel like a white elephant gift... you've been traded a few times until someone finally gets you.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

Chaos is her routine.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

We stood in the fog and watched them quietly destroy the Earth.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

Anyone else hate when the word "leverage" is used as a verb?

[Almostanon @almostanon]

she paid in full with a ton of her words and a pound of her fist

[Almostanon @almostanon]

I had both onions and garlic bread for lunch today. That shows you how much I wanted to talk to people at work.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

You may not have driven me crazy, but you paid for the Uber.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

love song lyrics sung through clenched teeth

[Almostanon @almostanon]

Her words were sweet, but had an edge to them... like a children's book being read aloud by a serial killer.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

I sold my soul for a piece of cheap bubble gum. It lost its flavor after only a few minutes so I'm pretty sure I got the better deal.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

plucked petals of inconsistency litter the shoulder of the paved dirt road she travels

[Almostanon @almostanon]

There are times we all stare lovingly at the chalk outline of our former lives even while the blood still drips from our hands.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

Some of the greatest stories are the ones that can never be told.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

I wonder if the stars look down upon the wilderness and make constellations of our campfires.

[Almostanon @almostanon]

She stared into oblivion, smiled, and stepped inside.