The Tested Twisticle

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail upgrade it. Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it, snap it, work it, quick - erase it.

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@sainsburys_bank I've been locked out of my credit card account and while trying to reset details I keep being told the details are wrong (I'm certain they aren't). I can't get back into my account please help.

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

I wonder if the Prime Minister would like to join me in a game of "Magic the Party".

Sorry, I mean "Magic the Gathering".

You can see my confusion though can't you? #PartyGate

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

And to all the EV-driving iMessage users in the UK - try to tone down the smugness yeah? 😀😀

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@Argos_Online Many thanks Nicola. At the checkout how/where do I enter the details?

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@Argos_Online I have a balance on my One4all card - can I use it to pay towards an online click and collect order?

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

"It's too new & hasn't been tested properly. I heard on Facebook someone got it & it ruined their life. I bet it doesn't do what they reckon it will so I'll wait and see"
Am I talking about COVID jabs or the latest version of iOS?! Get your priorities right, and #getthejab

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Richard Branson ever the company man; not only traveling to the edge of the atmosphere in a bid to get a 4G signal on Virgin Mobile - also sounded like he used one of their phones for his video clip. No wonder they're merging with o2!

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Struggling to understand the rules around travel to amber-list countries? Try this: you think it's fine to visit your lover; they say they can't wait for you to come and stay. But your spouse says it's a no-no and if you go you'll definitely pay for it when you get home #staysafe

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Amongst all the discussion about the European Super League I don't think anybody's asking the real questions. In that meeting of the six English clubs, at what point did five managers turn to Arsenal and say "What the hell are you doing here!?"?

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

On the 24th March 1996, #Prodigy entered the UK singles chart at number one with #Firestarter. Hard to believe it has been twenty-five years - but it's still a choon! #rip #keithflint #quartercentury

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

I can't be the first to point out that an anagram of that man's name is "I, Sperm Organ". Can I?
Stop giving him your time!

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Ah, breakfast vodka, yum!😋🥃

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

a) There is one
b) It's today
c) It has been around for years

Now either stop banging on about it, or do something positive to show those around you what you're made of.
#internationalmensday

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

I'm just trying to decide which is the most passive-aggressive of the two phrases I've had said to me today:
"Polite note ..."

or

"Just a gentle reminder ..."

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

For a bit of realistic, believable and reasonably dramatic US politics I think I'll rewatch The West Wing ...

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Is Boris in the middle of a standing-up fever-dream!?

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

Well at this rate I may as well just move to Draconia ...

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@TSB Hi, are you paying interest on second Classic Plus accounts, because I don't appear to be receiving any on mine

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@TSB Hi I've got a Classic Plus Account - am I still able to open a second one?

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@mrtwentytwenty Besides, I'm just glad that all of a sudden it's absolutely fine for me to put on a face-mask before going into the bank ...

[The Tested Twisticle @alonibge]

@mrtwentytwenty I hate portmanteaus generally but what you're describing has a name: it's known as 'smising' *shudder*
I know, I know. Don't shoot the messenger!