Al Markert

They call me countrytime.

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@tradingcow Lololololol

[David Bakhtiari @DavidBakhtiari]

Simpler times..

[Al Markert @alpal20]

I was today years old when I found out that your in laws are called in laws because they’re related to you by law.

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@rachammerman FREAKING CONGRATS

[Al Markert @alpal20]

My dog just shit sitting down. Not squatting. Sitting. I don’t.... where do we go from here?

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@lakoeb @charliehtweets Looks familiar 😂

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@lakoeb @realDonaldTrump @mattgaetz This isn’t the same breed, mama......

[Al Markert @alpal20]

The worker at Culver’s must have known it was Packer Game Day when they gave me 2 extra orders of cheese curds for free #blessed

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@JenniferPawlak @Brittany_broski WHY IS IT SO FLOPPY I LOVE IT

[Al Markert @alpal20]

An 8 year old boy told me today that my eyebrows were the size of bulldozers, so I’m doing fine honestly

[Al Markert @alpal20]

When I dyed my hair black I was convinced if I tried hard enough I could be a Demi Lovato look alike. Now I fear it was close to Ozzy Osbourne.

[Ellie Hall @ellievhall]

AMAZING OLD TWEETS BY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MARIANNE WILLIAMSON: A THREAD

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@JenniferPawlak Will be purchasing a China cabinet to display my new plate set

[Al Markert @alpal20]

Karma just came for me in the form of digging my fat ass hand in the shredded cheese bag and stuffing my mouth with mold instead of cheese

[Al Markert @alpal20]

@JenniferPawlak @PEOPLEOFMEMPHIS Just wait till they see me rap Aaron’s Party

[Miley Cyrus @MileyCyrus]

She can be wearing what she wants. She can be a virgin. She can be sleeping with 5 different people.

She can be with her husband. She can be with her girlfriend. She can be naked.

She CAN’T be grabbed without her consent. #DontFuckWithMyFreedom

[Mayor Guy Fieri @GuyFieri]

Is it too late for a Flavor Town Road Remix @LilNasX?

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

it’s never too late for u legend