Uncle Pregnant

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

life hack

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

unwashed raw denim starting to smell. Dogs will pull their owners towards me just to land a sniff

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

In my beef era

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Call me Eric the wway my cheeks clapped in.

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

I got that log in me (constipation)

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

No longer anemic thanks to my poorly maintained. Cast iron skillet.

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

“Chig Bicken attorney at law” (obviously a big chicken) how blind are you people

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Me?? Well…..
I’m fuckin Johnny Candlesticks

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

I get itchy itchy if I don’t havve it

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Look. I only need money sometimes

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Going to start calling people “traveler” because we are all on a journey.

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Something about bones these catholics just can’t get enough of

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

I could run a wallgreens absolutely shitfaced

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Starting to say “I bet you wipe back to front” as an insult.

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Machine gun smelly

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

I love jackets so ffucking much.

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

will immediately start explaining Plato’s allegory of a cave after sex

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

what the fuck is a. ’tub job’

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

Holding a sign that reads: teach “Pilgrim warfare” in schools

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

April fools? I do not give a single shit right now

[Uncle Pregnant @alrightcoolcool]

New sport: Hour long fights. Must share 25 punches between the two fighters.