Where did Achilles' tragedy lie? The death of Patroclus?
No. Not at all.
It was that he gave in to anger, that he whined about losing a mere woman and lost sight of the fact that he was there not for romance but for war.
My judgment is poor, and I don't know what I really should be doing.
But if this can neither be learned nor taught, then don't blame me for it.
If it can, however, then either teach it to me yourself or let me learn it from someone who professes to know.
Trustworthiness is your own, decency and a sense of shame; no one can take them from you or prevent you from using these qualities except yourself - which you do the moment you begin to care about what isn't yours, surrendering what is yours in the process.