Lost a deal on Friday.
Prospect said our competitor "just sent pricing and followed up."
No discovery framework. No mutual action plan. No stakeholder mapping.
And they won?
This is what's wrong with sales today.
Mum asked if I've been promoted yet.
I told her titles don't matter in sales. Pipeline matters.
She asked about my pipeline.
I told her titles don't matter in sales.
Company Christmas party.
CEO asked me what I'm working on.
I started explaining my account tiering methodology.
He walked off after 90 seconds.
Came back 20 minutes later.
I was still on slide 4.
He didn't come back again.
Uber driver asked me what I do.
Told him I'm in sales.
He asked my best closing technique.
I told him I don't believe in closing, I believe in preparation.
He said "So you don't sell anything?"
Gave him 3 stars. Rude.
Prospect bumped into me at Tesco.
She recognised me from LinkedIn.
I recognised her from the 200+ hours of research I've done on her company.
She said "Have we met?"
I said "Not yet. I'm not ready."
She moved to a different aisle.
Still thinking about the rep who told me he wings discovery calls.
Wings them.
Like they're not the most important 30 minutes of a 9-month sales cycle.
Absolute chaos merchant.
My CRM activity log is just me opening the same 6 accounts every day and updating the notes.
Salesforce sent me an automated email saying "Great engagement!"
Even the software is lying to me now.
Took a prospect to lunch once.
Printed a 12-page agenda for the meal.
She ordered a starter.
I asked if she'd done any research on the menu beforehand.
There was no second lunch.
Matched with a girl on Hinge.
Her prompt said "The way to win me over is being spontaneous."
I unmatched.
Spontaneity is just poor planning with better PR.
Google Maps sent me a notification saying I'm a "top contributor" to my prospect's office location.
I've driven past it 74 times.
Never been inside.
But I know where the CFO parks.
Someone at the pub asked what I do for a living.
I said "Enterprise sales."
They asked how many deals I've closed.
I changed the subject.
They asked again.
I went to the toilet and left through the fire exit.
Went to a networking event.
Someone said "What do you sell?"
I said "I'm not at that stage yet."
They said "How long have you been in the role?"
I said "Four years."
They walked away mid-sentence.
Probably went to do more research on me. Respect.
Accidentally sent my prospect dossier to the prospect.
47 pages. Including the section titled "Likely Objections Based On Divorce Timeline."
He called me.
First time a prospect's ever called me.
I didn't pick up. Wasn't prepared.