Aly

random bitch with an opinion

[Aly @alyisbored]

I wish I had known data collection for Spotify Wrapped ended in October or I wouldn’t have listened to Monster Mash 482 times the week before Halloween

[Aly @alyisbored]

Love Island UK is eattttting upppp USA this year

[Aly @alyisbored]

Sometimes I really need my therapist to call me a dumb bitch and slap me in the face

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

I wonder what my body really thinks about getting hit with a doctor approved SSRI, ADHD meds, anti-histamine, ibuprofen, and vitamin d and b12 combo at 6am washed down with black coffee.

[Aly @alyisbored]

I miss when people used to slap each other on Bravo #summerhouse

[Aly @alyisbored]

All I do is make my overnight oats and drink my tea and live in peace. It’s beautiful

[Aly @alyisbored]

@KBZO_ @BethanyEvrAfter Because they’ve already gotten two women traitors and they said there has to be a man in the turret. So he needed a man to throw under the bus so they’d stop looking for a man traitor

[Aly @alyisbored]

I had a dream last night that something was stuck in my eye. That was the whole dream.

[Aly @alyisbored]

Not my high school being scolded on Fox News over some Halloween costumes

[Aly @alyisbored]

I have a crush on Seeley Booth

[Aly @alyisbored]

Bought a house and everything is so expensive. Why are curtains priced like that

[Aly @alyisbored]

Getting my test results back that I have celiacs disease while on a cruise stuffing my face with a sandwich is top 5 funniest things that have happened to me

[Aly @alyisbored]

@JacoboFoSho @whatsuptucson Bro I had to sit in that traffic for an hour this morning I get to report what I see

[Aly @alyisbored]

Weird way to say you haven’t seen Fleabag

[mindy🌷 @mindyisser]

really hot priest at my friends’ baby’s baptism. why would a hot guy become a priest

[Aly @alyisbored]

@JacoboFoSho HE’S FINE 🔪 HE LIKES IT 🔫

[Aly @alyisbored]

@JacoboFoSho Oh no, he likes it too

[Aly @alyisbored]

I love Europe

[Aly @alyisbored]

@JacoboFoSho He played it and everyone loved it. He was just a hater

[Aly @alyisbored]

One time I got every friend I had at a bar to go ask the DJ to play Rich Girl by Hall & Oates because he said no when I asked and I’m pretty sure that DJ still thinks I’m the most annoying person he’s probably ever encountered

[Aly @alyisbored]

I would be so pissed if my dad was a billionaire and he just kept having kids with random ass women and then I would have to eventually split my inheritance with them. They should do a hunger games style tournament to see who wins all the money