ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ;

saint mary's college of california c/o 2018; university of san francisco school of law c/o 2022

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

I just remembered that there won't ever be new episodes of parks and rec

[Brianna @briannam511]

Trumpers are such an interesting group to me. They’re throwing a fit about voter fraud and this election not being fair while completely ignoring how fraudulent and morally corrupt Trump himself is as a human being
#ElectionResults2020

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

I am almost 24 years old and I still get ridiculously excited when I see a dog poke it’s head out of a car when I’m driving

[maybe: clare @clur19]

Okay so listen. Why have people always been obsessed with the idea of surviving a global apocalypse? If the world is in literal flames I want to be the first one to go, I don’t want to be Armageddon-ing around for a month knowing I’ll eventually die.

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

In light of the US surpassing all countries in COVID-19 cases, I need everyone to actually STAY THE FUCK HOME. CUT THE SHIT AND JUST STOP. I’d love to go hang out elsewhere, but I’m staying home to stop the spread, and idk why so many people aren’t. I’m getting pissed tbh

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

CAN EVERYONE PLS JUST STAY THE FUCK HOME TO SLOW THE SPREAD OF THIS VIRUS? I don’t get why this is so hard - none of us left our houses this much before the restrictions began so I don’t get why we all need to leave now. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT. thanks for coming to my Ted talk..

[LJ @LammarJ_]

I need my professors to let this semester go because no.

[kelly oxford @kellyoxford]

If all women just say fuck it, shave their heads and just go grey right now everyone would be as scared of us as they probably were when they found out we can bleed for a week every 28 days and survive.

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

CAN EVERYONE PLS JUST STAY THE FUCK HOME TO SLOW THE SPREAD OF THIS VIRUS? I don’t get why this is so hard - none of us left our houses this much before the restrictions began so I don’t get why we all need to leave now. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT. thanks for coming to my Ted talk..

[Sleeper Ryanohtrue @ryanohtrue]

I'm super stressed but like in that cool sexy way

[ａｌｙｓｅ ｔｏｔｈ ; @alysetoth]

@ryanohtrue @KearaStarnes @KearaStarnes loves ScreenJunkies

[Adam Bedford @adambedders]

Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden.

Over the fence to our neighbour:

‘JEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDE’
‘Okay I will in a minute’
‘YOU’RE OLD AND THERE’S A VIRUS’
‘I’m not that old thank you’
‘HOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?’
‘I’m 68.’
‘THAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.’

[Keara @KearaStarnes]

It’s probably already been done — but how everyone is feeling right. about. now. #COVID2019 #ShelterInPlace #californialockdown

[Saint Mary's Hoops @saintmaryshoops]

GAELS WIN IT!!!!

Ford drills a jumper to put the Gaels in the lead and secure the victory! 🔥🔥🔥

Saint Mary's advances to the finals tomorrow and will face off against No. 2 Gonzaga!

#GaelsRise

[Royce Da '5280 🇲🇽 @Buenisi_Ma]

He was a TARGARYEN and a STARK for NO reason?!?!

Sorry. I'm still scarred.

[Ria @BarstoolRia]

What the fuck is this

[Lauren Zima @laurenzima]

Here is Mykenna's exit speech, partially in third person, fully transcribed -- and it is something to behold #TheBachelor

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

I May Be:

- a solid 6
- kind of chubby
- emotionally unstable
- extremely annoying

But At Least I:

-never joined a pyramid scheme
-left my hometown
-text back really fast
-never posted a black screen rant about my feelings on my story