Alyssa Witzleben

zero redeeming qualities besides literally being the best. favorite number is 9. cant count past 9. she/her

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

saying goodbye to #CodeMash today, had a blast this past week but honestly the highlight might be my @RocketTech themed track suit. it will become a conference staple🚀🤩

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

@Ell_o_Punk i say always go for two pages if you have two pages worth. i find it sometimes helpful to change my document size to “Legal” and making the margins way smaller, which gives some extra room
too

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

wow i just saw an ad for the apple vision pro and thought it was satire at first until i saw the comments they look so corny lmao

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

maybe its just the edible talking but today was the day of my 18-month consulting gig and even tho i have nothing lined up yet im having a gooood feeling itll be exactly where i need to go and im highkey pumped to find out where that is for me (and hopefully soon bc insurance)

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

#LFG #DETROIT #LIONS BABY!!! CINDERELLA STORY CITY WE BELIEVE IN USSSSSSS

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

airport pickup at DTW is packed rn and also just about everyone is in lions gear #playoffszn #onepride

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

i gotta start #tweeting more my tweets have 0 power in this #harsh #algorithm ever since i stopped tweeting for a bit so im just gonna spew/spam thoughts as tweets and probably attach some random pic from my camera roll with it since pics #boost #visibility i think

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

recession must be coming because i just bought the “requires assembly” version off amazon

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

paging @saltnburnem !!!

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

the daylist is the most baller and useful feature spotify has given us in awhile, in my not so humble opinion

[alex @vodkalemonades]

back to work tomorrow after 10 days off

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

after i tweeted this i crashed my old team’s holiday party and lost my credit card at a bar i dont remember going to and ~almost~ puked in an uber so maybe its actually best that i didnt have my own company party

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

I JUST WANT A JOB AT A PLACE WITH AN END OF YEAR HOLIDAY PARTY THAT I CAN GET LIT AT AND GIGGLE WITH MY COWORKERS (WHO IN THIS DREAM SCENARIO ARE ALSO MY FRIENDS BY CHOICE)

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

@saltnburnem lets fuckin go big dogs gotta eat💯💯💯💯💯💯🔓🔒📈

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

I JUST WANT A JOB AT A PLACE WITH AN END OF YEAR HOLIDAY PARTY THAT I CAN GET LIT AT AND GIGGLE WITH MY COWORKERS (WHO IN THIS DREAM SCENARIO ARE ALSO MY FRIENDS BY CHOICE)

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

ill fight to the death for this meal

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

works every time!

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

@IAmJerdog awh thank you scorpio king🤗i'll definitely be in touch, but if you hear of or see any open roles i might like, please send my way!!

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

something tells me i should prolly start looking for a new job and if i had to guess itd prolly be because my manager just told me i should start looking for a new job

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

@not_unambitious @cassandrafaris @momentumdevcon WOOOO! Cass kicking ass!!

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

@saltnburnem @ChrisShort yes we did!!

[Alyssa Witzleben @alyssa_witz]

loved the Burnout++ talk from fellow Detroiter @ChrisShort.

always love hearing the stories of others and normalizing talking about burnout because life can really suck sometimes #DevOpsDayDetroit