alyssa benson

[emma - 🇵🇸✨ @hetisemma]

oh so she doesn’t care if OTHER people’s partners get murdered

[Siraj Hashmi @SirajAHashmi]

Andrew Tate’s attorney:

[Jared Shult @jared_shult]

Can any of y’all explain why gay marriage should be illegal without using religion

[Nithya Shri @Nithya_Shrii]

Having a financially responsible husband is a quiet flex.

[🦢 @damnidc__]

how do you tell someone “i’m not ignoring you i’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that

[✧ @cessonmute]

men that don't r@pe women are not special. men that don't cheat are not special. men that treat women with equality are not special. men that cook in their homes and take care of the baby are not special. this is what a normal man should be like

[🎗️ @spicy_exx]

love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

[Gay Interrupted @TwinkTheory]

She won me back 110% with just this so fucking funny

[Antoni z Kijowa @koneser_misia]

‘everyone grieves differently’

Erika Kirk:

[harb @harbizard]

the best advice i’ve ever been given was righty tighty lefty loosey

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Do NOT drink and wrap presents.

Also if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm gonna need that back!

[Kristen @Kica333]

I’m trying to figure out if i’m just getting older or are people getting more annoying?

[Dan Adam @DanAderm]

I grieve for the younger me. You deserved better & you really didn’t know better

[Vαɳҽʂʂα🐤🐣🐥 @DreamsSarcastic]

It was just announced that the male version of Alexa will be released. It'll be called Alex and you have to ask the same thing 10 times and wait fucking 10 months for him to do it

[elliott @elliott_green_]

dating someone who is actually nice to me rocks why didn’t I do this sooner

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

Top off her windshield wiper fluid so she knows you love her.

[bry @chicletsbian]

i’d hate to be a goalie because what the fuck do you mean the puck got through all of you people and now i have to stop it. not my fucking problem