alyssa

[limp brittzkit @Brittymigs]

when a pond has ducks in it i’m like YESSSSS a classic, exactly what should be in a pond

[jess @enchantedjess13]

wasn’t gonna drink tonight but i’m missing joann fabrics like crazy

[Muted. Argue with yourself. @___inCANdescent]

In order to cook after work you really have to not sit down

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 . @misskerrington]

i love funny kids like how you a vibe already

[ٰ @daergp]

i hope the trees know i notice them

[meghan @deloisivete]

Some of you aren't so much decking the halls as you are blocking the aisles with your carts

[ella @H8BEAM]

full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think

[mau @rllydu]

go ahead and jump in the hotdog water since u wanna act like a weenie

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Saying “unfortch dot com” when something bad happens

[Penguin Books USA @penguinusa]

In your 20s, someone will offer to lend you a book they read and loved. It is very important that you take the book.

[mousey ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ @HIBlSCUS]

life fucking sucks. one day you have tiramisu and then most other days you don’t. I hate that

[Jenni @hashjenni]

"i’ll do it when i get home"
Me when I get home:

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

these kids got more PTO days at school than i do at work

[Shrek @Shrek]

Can't today, I'm swamped.

[Sara @SaraCivian]

Can't even wish your friends a good afternoon anymore

[𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 ☢ @King_Sukunaaa]

When you bite into a Krispy Kreme glazed donut

[Sweaty Paloma 🇺🇸 @talldarkthirsty]

Sorry, I’m late. I had to clasp my own bracelet.