a l y s s a

📍bmore

[John Fadule @fadule_]

The friend who chats with the parents for 45 minutes while you’re in the basement pregaming:

[His Nibs, Yungmun @Gnihcres]

Tomorrow becomes today and I couldn’t care less about a sandwich. The moral of the story is to act purely on impulse because the future is not real.

[Bruhface! @TherealBruhface]

Trying to sext with writers block

[joyful critter @masochistmartyr]

so was spongebob :)

[mari ☀️ @danny_plums]

just got decoy danned at work (thrown into a high pressure situation with almost no training or preparation that ended with me in tears)

[daft ponk @sicksadchris]

why tf is starbucks selling braised short rib girlled cheeses...they got yall eating Somebody

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

so SAY. geronimo

[Zaza Waybright @Le_Unorthodox]

Watching the entire election map start turning blue county by county

[groucho marxist🔻☭ @fwasiercwane]

I believe Klein/11 returned us to the correct timeline

[Offseason Papi @FenwayAttendee]

Good morning. I am going to attempt to vote in every state on the east coast today. Wish me luck!

#ElectionFraudTour2026

[chris hansen homebirth support 18+ @dabhaddestbih]

How it feels talking to my snapchat sugar daddy so he can send me thirteen dollars for a smoothie

[kay :3 @pupkayy]

if i were to be an actual puppy i would not be obedient in the slightest id be biting the fuck outta the table legs in the kitchen

[debbie harry impersonator (former) @antsontheknees]

halloween plans cancelled bc i got hit by a car

[🏴based opossum🏴🚬 @CrustPunk161]

RIP Patrick Stewart. At least you took a couple of the bastards with you
#SuicideByCop #PatrickStewart #ACAB

[Jordan @iliterate__]

this is frying me dude. guy got turned into a nugget at 20 by a flying toy & theyre gonna let him use his chin to turn other teenagers into nuggets and ABC is running it as a feel good story. right when u think its done boom pan to his nazi patch collection. satire genius. dying

[herb @herb_on_osu]

having my own personal "white people be like" moment. Im going rock climbing with my dentist.

[Natasha (the shitposter) @iamsropb]

Kinda reminds me of this

[marisashorror @MarisasHorror]

That horrible sharp Nosferatu tooth in the Keurig machine, biting the poor defenseless Keurig pod. Upsetting.

[monkey car @PrimateVehicle]

You should be able to charge your phone from 0 to 100 in half a second but like sparks go everywhere and your lights flicker and it makes a really loud bang

[web 🍀 @webegga]

the craziest thing about the H3H3 situation is that it’s not even beating a dead horse. there are several horses that are alive and well, and more just keep showing up