alysha 🐸

she/her - 25 - reptiles and memes 🐢🐍🦎

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

Whoever invented those vertical curtain blinds in apartments deserves to get their catalytic converter stolen

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

I’m seeing a massive influx of Europeans being absolutely obsessed with shitting on Americans on TikTok…we already fucking know this place sucks blud ☠️

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

To the chick on the Notre Dame campus that was cheering me on for my Filipino flag license place, I am SO sorry for not acknowledging you 😭 I was focusing on not shitting myself in the car!

[Out Of Context Drugs @OOCdrugs]

GOOGOO ZAZA

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

orange cat by heart

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

@SchrubbaAli Yeah he straight up Betty White’d us LMAO

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

Jimmy Buffett eating a Cheeseburger in Paradise fr now 😔

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

@Lil_Apple24 They’re just so unique and creative

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

I couldn’t find the purses in Target and Josh said “maybe they’re out of season” ☠️☠️☠️

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

I’m coming out of my social media hiatus to remind everyone that there are rats and snitches everywhere and no hoes shall be trusted. Amen

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

@SchrubbaAli Receiving footage of the fatal grip

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

DONT move here if you want your oil pan in to remain in tact

[Governor Gretchen Whitmer @GovWhitmer]

If you are LGBTQ+, you should move to Michigan.

If you are a woman who wants to make your own damn decisions, you should move to Michigan.

If you are a worker who wants rights, you should move to Michigan.

If you want common sense gun policies, come on, move to Michigan!

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

Great, those trees that smell like fucking cum are back

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

Dating an educator of young America means that he comes home with young America’s headcolds every so often.

(Josh I know you’ll read this so please don’t feel bad ❤️)

[alysha 🐸 @alyzachary]

@Meg_Han_Solo22 @SchrubbaAli Literally doesn’t do anything. She shows up regardless lmfao