I used to believe
forgiveness meant friendship
and even a flicker of pain meant I was angry for too long—
but I found I can forgive from afar,
across town, at a deathbed,
across a lifetime,
and the pain was not my fault, but how deep the wound was carved.
What I used to believe
changed in the crucible of grief.
I believed in a faith
where all things worked out
if I believed enough,
until a dying child held my hand
& prayers to heal her cancer
went unanswered.
I had to relocate my hope
from the outcome
to an outstretched hand.
Growing up in a spiritually abusive context disorganizes psychological development. A person is forced to grow up too early, shouldering enormous responsibility and existential concerns, while also infantilized, a healthy integrated embodied selfhood inhibited and made dangerous
Although there are more obvious problems of a toxically masculine culture, one insidious consequence is the pervasive loneliness of men. In the masculine script, emotional restriction is venerated, but feeling ones own emotions is required for authentic connection to others.
It’s the time of the year when we can expect that in addition to the already prolific insidious messages about our bodies, we get an extra dose of extraordinarily toxic psychologically manipulative diet-culture bullshit disguised as health, wellness, and self care. #HappyNewYear