αmαndα α rγαn

i like to go to happy hour & eat pizza

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

The hardest part of yoga is rolling up your mat after class

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

But why do I talk to Alexa in my customer service voice

[pointy @chipspopandabar]

How come we are just finding out about the big cow clearly the cow has been large for some time

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@natty_don Was it by like a ceo tho cause then like 👀👀

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

Portrait mode did me dirty last night @Apple

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@amazon WTF?

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

Remember when you used to have to carry around your cell phone AND your ipod?

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

“Peanut butter is my crack cocaine” - mom

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@Google what beef do you have with @isDakotaJohnson how you gonna do her like this in the search results

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

Tristan 👏🏻 Thompson 👏🏻 doesn’t 👏🏻 deserve 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 celebrate 👏🏻

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@BethStelling The above will still be true

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@BethStelling you slay. we’ve got pups, we’ve got weed, we’ve got wine, you’ve got jokes, and we live next door - come hang!

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@DrewGrossman thanks for the follow what is going on with ur twitter pic

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Mark Zuckerberg Promises That Misuse Of Facebook User Data Will Happen Again And Again  https://t.co/HrSvjYbkIy

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

The show Friends would have been so different if they could send text messages

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@MailOnline aren’t we all former children

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

@MailOnline with truly groundbreaking journalism - Amanda Bynes, former child

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

Im pretty sure @Starbucks poisoned me by giving me cold brew concentrate without watering it down and I’m dying

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

“It’s very important to have friends in life” - my uber driver

[αmαndα α rγαn @amandaaryan]

Fully smacked a pedestrian in the face doing a casual walking arm stretch on broad st