ages 25–30 are crucial. you’re accepting that your friend group is getting smaller, your parents are getting older, you’re cleaning up the financial mess from your early 20s, managing your career and health. and somehow, you still need to find time to heal your mind.
Hate to break it to you guys but sometimes you have to do things you don’t like for the sake of having a community. Avoiding consistency with the people in your life is working against us and the data already shows it. If you think connections can be sustained on absence carry on
I wish more people understood that life is all about patterns. You’re not broken. You’re repeating something. A thought. A reaction. A story. Change the pattern, and you change your life.
I own a small bakery. Business has been slow. Rent is up. I was thinking about closing.
Last Friday, a teenager came in. He looked nervous. He counted out change for a cookie. He was short 50 cents.
"It's okay," I said. "Take it."
He ate it at a table, looking at his math homework. He looked stuck.
I used to be a math tutor.
I walked over. "Quadratic equations?"
He nodded. "I don't get it."
I sat down and helped him for 20 minutes. He got it. He left smiling.
The next day, he came back with two friends. They bought cookies.
The day after that, five kids came.
Apparently, he told the school, "The lady at the bakery helps with homework."
Now, my bakery is the after-school hang-out spot. It's loud. It's messy. There are backpacks everywhere.
Yesterday, I found a note in the tip jar. It was wrapped around a $20 bill.
"Thanks for helping my son pass math. A Mom."
I'm not closing the bakery.
I think I finally found my purpose.
It's not cookies. It's community.
every time you say "this is new for me" instead of "i'm bad at this," you allow your brain space to learn instead of shut down. that's neuroplasticity in real time.
the downside of being emotionally intelligent is always being the bigger person. you always see where people are coming from, even when they’re wrong yet FEW PEOPLE are willing to offer you that same level of understanding. ngl, it really does gets frustrating and exhausting.
Someone asked “If you knew your plane was going to crash, would you still get on it just because the ticket was expensive?” I love how this shows that just because you’ve invested time, energy & money doesn’t mean you need to stay in a doomed relationship. Please learn to let go.
Tolerating always turns to resentment. At first, you call it patience, then love. But what it really is, is self-abandonment. Every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern, or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. And eventually, the bill comes due.