conqueeftador

“Let me paint this clear: Life is short, my dear." // "Control your emotions. Discipline your mind."

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

@elonmusk Over 2 hours without internet in southwest Wisconsin.. -sincerely someone who works from home 🥲☹️ don’t fail me now Elon buddy, I believe in you

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

#NewProfilePic

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

@Nintendo has become so out of touch with their fan base. Switch 2 was a terrible idea and continues to disappoint and take advantage of loyal fans. I’ll never buy another Nintendo console again.

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

@droessler15 I have duct tape and a stapler

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

My toxic trait is that I can see a piece of furniture or an outbuilding or something on the internet and I automatically assume that I can build it myself, despite having no carpentry experience whatsoever

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

@droessler15 That’s okay then

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

I get the most extreme ick from people who kiss children on the mouth.. why y’all doin that? It’s gross

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

Just so we are clear, my phone PIN is no longer 6969 lol

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

Just a heads up, if you have a dumb phone PIN code and you are going to get a new phone… do yourself a favor and either change your PIN or remove it entirely. It is extremely humbling when the Verizon guy asks for your PIN and you have to awkwardly answer:

“….. it’s 6969..”

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

I can’t believe we’re almost 1/4 of the way through 2025 already.. I’m still thinking aboot a pickup line that a guy used on me in 2010

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

Chase really woke me up this morning, got the JG Wentworth song stuck in my head, and then closed his office door as if to say he doesn’t enjoy my rendition of the JG Wentworth song. The audacity…

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

Ahh yes, December 26th.. Happy Christmas Shits to all!!

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

@nick_guerren I am sorry my Canadian friend, but I guess you’re entitled to your wrong opinion 🙃😅😂

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

I do be poopin’

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

It is wild to me that people will post their children’s entire medical history on Facebook as if it’s supposed to be public information lol

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

I have a poke war going with a guy I haven’t seen in like 10 years.. we’re up to almost 700 pokes. Facebook really does bring people together

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

Can’t wait to get my new glasses.. almost just wrecked my car slamming on the brakes for a corn husk blowing across the road

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

I love when I tell my mom I don’t feel good so she has a care package delivered.. and that care package consists of migraine meds, a thermometer, and a dog.. we are so on the same wavelength

[conqueeftador @amber_ames]

When I was a drunk teenager, I used to introduce myself as Amber FUCKING Ames. The one woman who remembers that is a nurse at the hospital I now go to. Any time I call, she always “aaaaaand what’s your middle name?” and she makes me say Amber FUCKING Ames to get my pills