Ambu

Wannabe Sportsman, RJ, DJ, Singer, Actor. Corporate slave by the day, dreamer by the night. Football, United, Sachin fanatic. And the original Bhaiyaji Ishmile

[Marca Zonal | Data & Fútbol 📊 @Marca_Zonal]

INCREÍBLE 😅

Armaron un compilado de 7 MINUTOS con errores arbitrales que favorecieron al Arsenal durante la Premier League 2025/26 😳

[𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 @eagleseyeinc]

if you’re intentional about keeping your hands or conscience clean, accept the fact that there are certain levels of wealth you will NEVER attain.

[Āsurā @iAsura_]

This post is the ultimate summary of Capitalist Democracies 🤠

R&D at taxpayers cost, profit to oligarchs. Democracy is near perfect ponzi scheme.

[Domino's Pizza UK @Dominos_UK]

we’ve sold 28,244,736 pizzas since Chelsea scored a Premier League goal

[Open Letter @openletteryt]

taxpayers looking at list of freebies in every election 🫣

[MUSC Mumbai @ManUtdMumbai]

With the right players, he is surely the man! Rome wasn't built in a day! They need to lose more for the board to understand that they need better players. Masterclass. #Chelsea #BHACHE

[Ambu @ambujesh]

And employed people will be taxed heavier than ever!

[BJP @BJP4India]

Make our candidate win, and on the first day of the month, women will get Rs 3,000/ month.

All the unemployed youths will be credited Rs 3,000 into their account.

Pregnant women will be given Rs 21,000. Besides, women will not have to pay bus fare in the government buses.

- Shri @AmitShah

#BanglarMoneSudhuiBJP

[Srivatsa @srivatsayb]

In the last one week, Narendra Modi has visited all states heading for elections under the garb of government programmes.

Kerala - 11 March
Tamil Nadu - 12 March
Assam - 13 March
West Bengal - 14 March

Meanwhile, Modi hasn’t attended even a single day of Parliament during this session.

BJP’s ally Gyanesh Kumar conveniently waited for Modi ji to finish these election visits. Today, he is expected to announce the election dates and enforce the Model Code of Conduct.

And this vote-chori enabler expects to be called neutral? Election Commission might as well merge with the BJP.

[Pastor Who @PastorMarvy]

This guy has done nothing to threaten world peace but somehow he’s tagged a crazy dictator. Meanwhile, the ones who have caused more deaths in history with their bombs are called the leaders of the free world.

We live in a simulation where our nothing is real.

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 @Shadaya_Knight]

As a child I thought the lesson of history was that, the good guys always win. As an adult, I realized the actual lesson is that, the winners declare themselves the good guys

[Sushant Singh @SushantSin]

Achhe Din are here.

[Ambu @ambujesh]

Djokovic! Just like a wow! ❤️

[Buggy Human @SridharanAnand]

Exhibit #1732 on why satire just can't compete with reality

[SwatKat💃 @swatic12]

Food delivery, shopping delivery doesn't happen in 10 mins in developed countries. Guess what comes in 10 mins and does their job well... emergency services.

[TheRandomCricketPhotosGuy @RandomCricketP1]

Mumbai Fatigue should be a thing. This city drains you. Roads are dug up everywhere. The air and noise pollution because of construction work leaves you with a headache. Want to go to a green space to recharge? Well, you can't. Not only because there are so few of them, but

[RAHUL @RahulSeeker]

In countries, people fight to open medical colleges. Here, people celebrate shutting one down in their city. Undeniably one of the greatest twelve years of achievement under BJP. Welcome to the de facto Hindu Rashtra. Congratulations, India.
The joke is on you. 🤌🏾

[🚨Indian Gems @IndianGems_]

Our Ancestors BMC engineer
Without Machine with Machine 🤡

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Ambu @ambujesh]

@amazonIN my shipment is out for delivery since yesterday and I have no way to get in touch with anyone to tell me where is it stuck. Please help.

[Ambu @ambujesh]

Has anyone called this a poor pitch yet?