Every girl should experience her own apartment, groceries in the fridge, candles lit, everything exactly how she wants it, and no man stressing her out. It really is a luxury experience.
Major cheat code for life: Assume good things are still ahead. You are not behind. You are not too late. You are not disqualified by your past. One new season can change the entire story. Keep showing up with belief. The best chapters are often written after the hardest ones.
I think the reason you can’t hate yourself into changing your life is because change is the most self-loving thing you can ask of yourself. You are quite literally demanding better for/from yourself, in what world do you think self-loathing and self-punishment can sustain that?