one time my dad’s acquaintance got his pilot’s license and offered to fly him around in his two-seater plane. He immediately flew directly into a huge storm so i have a voicemail from my dad that is 45 seconds of him screaming wordlessly because they thought they were going down
Breaking News: The police shot and killed the man suspected of killing at least one person and injuring 29 others near a Berlin LGBTQ Pride celebration after he charged at officers with a weapon, the German authorities said. https://t.co/6R59bN19pP
didn’t realize my bf was standing right behind me until i said out loud that i was really craving an apple and he goes “okay horse behavior!” unfortunately that spooked me pretty bad so i did kick him in the teeth
my mom thought the federal minimum wage was $15 and the Massachusetts was $17. I'm supposed to take job advice from people who don't know anything about the current state of the country.