Amy Beatty

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

@ChappellRoan @itsallegrad cleans the muthafuckin plate 🚨 #votequeenallegra

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

Thanks Father John Misty for spending 1,983 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Goodbye Mr. Blue. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/RtqUeoJqJB

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

Aw I miss you blis 😭❤️

[Abby @abby_reid_]

Me @amyeb_ but also her room is like 700 miles away

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

@cornbreadcobb I had a grown ass woman IN FULL FACE PAINT come up after her kids and say “trick or treat” and then pat her belly and say “all this walking is making me hungry for treats” WHAT 💀👻🎃

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

@DeannaKobet THIS

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

My fav part about this #NewProfiIePic is that u can barely tell I drove for 12hrs & then got 3hrs of sleep. Like I’m actually posting this bc I’m impressed w/how normal I look. Also bc I love this necklace & the profile pic crops it out. And only a little bit bc I’m a narcissist.

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

I was so distraught that no one understood what I perceived to be a hilarious joke. That was the last year I remember trick or treating. #Halloween #halloweencostume

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

#HalloweenMemory: It’s 2004. 11 y/o me thinks it’s hilarious to wear a John Kerry mask & Bush/Cheney shirt. No one could tell who I was because the mask was so large on my head. Eventually I just gave in. “Yes, Mrs. Hill, you guessed it. I‘m Bush wearing his own campaign shirt.”

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

“Ah, it’s too much.”

Which also describes how I feel about the continuation of grown ass men in public positions resorting to worse than teenage drama tactics on social media. #PierreDelecto

[Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) @ashleyfeinberg]

i *believe* i may have found mitt romney's secret twitter account https://t.co/SNVUeqbLoY

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

Can you imagine though? 😂

“Picard to Riker, meet me on the Bridge.”

“Sure Captain, I just need a moment to halfway undress for 10 seconds and then redress and I’ll be right there.”

The life of a Starfleet Officer is truly distinguished.

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

Forgive me for coming out of the left Neutral Zone with this, but how in the heck do you go to the bathroom in an Enterprise Next Gen uniform? I’m assuming you just have to go full romper method and completely disrobe, right?? @StarTrek

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

What are you supposed to do when the plumber comes over? Seriously. Should I stand over their shoulder? Do I go about my business? Do I offer them a sandwich? Or do I get so caught up overthinking what I should be doing that I just sit nearby doing nothing until they finish?? 🤨

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

@Mr_Eisele @abby_reid_ @lizzo

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

This partisan divide is getting so ridiculous. I know it’s not very Ellen of me, but I had to mute a family group chat a few days ago because my brother in law said @lizzo was “obnoxious.” Can you believe the nERVE!?

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

*totes* adorbs 😻

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

I am actually sore from tensing up over how intense #ElCaminoABreakingBadMovie is. So good. Such a satisfying epilogue. @aaronpaul_8 you are a gem.

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

@skyyyrayyy Omg girl 🤦🏻‍♀️ RIP I’m so sorry 😭❤️

[Amy Beatty @amyeb_]

I was awoken this morning by my cat, climbing on top of me, “booping” me on the forehead and then placing that paw over my lips as I opened my eyes. I don’t think I should let him watch Forensic Files with me anymore.