Amy

I'm the Helen Keller of smell and hearing Aspiring mid-size paper company regional salesman

[Amy @amyfaville]

If you don't like York peppermint patties we can't be friends

[Amy @amyfaville]

Which would you rather eat first in a crisis... our cats or the dog?
Dad: Alicia

[ivy @ivyonthemove]

Proof that Beyoncé cheated on Jay-Z: A THREAD

[Amy @amyfaville]

@twopauq Prolly Logan ngl

[Kay @_kayblackmon]

Distance really does give you some clarity on how you feel about people

[Kevin Kleine @Twinkle_cheese]

For all you TikTok users 😳👀

[Amy @amyfaville]

Imagine staying caught up on laundry because there’s nothing better to do... Ik I never thought this day would come either

[Amy @amyfaville]

Does anyone have a unicycle I can borrow? Might as well learn while I have the time

[Maggie Trabucco @maggietrabucco]

If you were to board a flight tomorrow, would your primary concern be A) COVID-19 or B) the fact that an individual with Peter Weber’s decision making ability could be operating the aircraft?

[Amy @amyfaville]

@nonotsicnarf Wine night tonight be there

[Amy @amyfaville]

@twopauq @Jared_McMahon21 Crocs are always in sports mode ONLY

[Amy @amyfaville]

@lauren3232 I saw these in the fridge earlier and they looked bomb

[Amy @amyfaville]

@madison_raynard It’s the year of the rat you can do no wrong

[Amy @amyfaville]

Instead of smoking and non smoking rooms they should make snoring and non snoring rooms at hostels

[Amy @amyfaville]

If I’m entering 2020 14 hours ahead of everyone back home does that mean I have better vision until they catch up

[Amy @amyfaville]

Nothing like a fresh bidet to wake you up in the morning

[Amy @amyfaville]

@tay_mbella Do you keep reading glasses in the bathroom like my dad does too

[Amy @amyfaville]

Our generation using phones in the bathroom is basically the equivalent of old men reading car magazines

[Amy @amyfaville]

Spent the day running errands, watching tv, and doing chores so if this is what the stay at home mom life is like I’m ready. Well minus the child part

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

I am a:

⚪️ man

⚪️ woman

🔘 millennial seeking a rich elderly spouse to die in mysterious and semi suspicious circumstances that no jury would ever convict me for