matilde

fpceuc • handshake of carbon monoxide

[tigs 🇰🇪🇲🇽 | zach hater @danielesibiza]

You tell me

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

going to the bathroom at 3am using a middle school classmate's linkedin profile as a flashlight

[໊ @wynavira]

born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from

[elliott @elliott_green_]

friend of mine has a “no yorgos lanthimos” rule for movie night

[zoë @zoeweeeemama]

They’re pissing me off at the pissing me off factory

[CHANEL MURDER @ChanelMurder]

I love beating a dead horse idgaf I got something else to say

[︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ @bowsnbubbles]

Person with insomnia: am i too woke....

[Johnson IP 44DB. @sleeplessip]

substack is like writers soundcloud

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Me: Ughhh someone just sent me an email

My nurse friends: my patient died today

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

alright john lennon I imagined all the people. What now

[maddy catgirlprostate @catgirlprostate]

Actually incredible thing to say as the president of America

[Paris @goodyhilton]

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone

[🤬 @invocad0]

no risk … no petisck !

[Cam @harleybaghdad]

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

[︎︎︎︎︎︎︎︎ @x11valerie]

if your chatgpt has a fucking personality you actually need to stop immediately

[Trent @Woodlandbuckle]

There’s no way all it took was him being bisexual

[The Green Kasey 🎃 @RawbertBeef]

“Which movie do you want to see this Christmas?”

The movies:

[ؘmareena @repwtation]

how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 35?