James Analbeads

They're like pearls of wisdom but anal beads

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

"What that's wrong I can't accept that."
You fucking have to, it's on the internet.
#DealWithIt

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Who invented white chocolate? They should have been shot. #cadburysweetendings

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Dammit, Liam. Don't touch me with those non-gangster hands.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

I think I'm lactating or something. #dairyforlife

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

#Jamesofthrones #RollingInTheDeep #kingofbullshit

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Every baker needs a good oven regardless of whether it's a vagina or an actual oven. #bakersdozen

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

I didn't choose the motorboat life, the motorboat life chose me.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Do you guys ever like, up your finger up your butt? #yaoi

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

And when the ref says "backcourt violation" he doesn't mean backcourt violation.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

The HPV vaccine? I need that; I've got warts all over the place. #autism

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Farhan: "It's pronounced antisemetic." James: "Let's see you pronounce it when you're dead."

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

That's not racist, Jews aren't a race.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

The vagina's too mainstream.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

I'm living vicariously through my banana.

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

I'll hit you across the face with my banana... I'll hit you with my other banana later. #5plusaday

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

*Enters room*
"James coming in we the fruit hammer. "

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Mark: "Please bring James back a wife."
James: "Nah, I can get one on the internet."
http://t.co/Gbezrm207X #gettinsome

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Lianal messi is so good. Watch out for the backside attack.
#gettingmessi #anygoalsasshole

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

I've got an apple and a dirty fucking dirty fork. Do you want to fuck with me. #talkshitgethit #illbiteyourfacecunt

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

Crying on the ground like a bitch. That's what Farhan does. I'm not Farhan. #fuckyoufarhan #illborrowadicktofuckyourasshol

[James Analbeads @analbeadswisdom]

No, I'm appreciating your haircut you ungrateful dick. #zingyouandzingme