The Coop

Twitter says: Impersonation is against our TOS unless it's parody. The standard for defining parody is 'Would a reasonable person be aware that it's a joke'

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Don't you dare delete this account, Fel0n Musc.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Ever seen Wolf or Larry run into a riot & save a little boy? Those two couldn't run to the toilet before pooping their diapers. Just sayin'.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Besides, I still did a better job, young and drunk, than Larry does every night, old and sober.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Give it a rest people! Don't sit there and pretend that you've never been drunk while hosting a show on CNN. We've all been there. Right?

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

As far as I know, the only change that we should anticipate _today_ is from the aide who deals with Larry's diapers.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I do feel a little bad for Larry. He's gonna miss the ceremony while he takes his afternoon nap. Poor old fella falls asleep all the time.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I'd like to take a chance to publicly apologize for Wolf Blitzer. I tried to have them replace him with Kathy this morning, but no luck.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I've received word from Twitter that they have brought in reinforcements to help keep things afloat today: http://bit.ly/c839 #inaug09

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

@pattinichols I beg your pardon. There are no tweets here about dicks in _my_ mouth.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I'm disappointed that in all the time I spent in Israel, I never once found Ted Neeley singing "Gethsemane" from the hills. "Whyyyyyyyyyy?"

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Twitter Poll: When the water from the faucet is too hot, do you turn down the hot water, or turn up the cold?

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I go to Israel and all hell breaks loose in the USA: @RickSanchezCNN was hacked? Guppy is gonna be Surgeon General? I was on TheDailyShow?!?

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

To be fair, Kathy was being totally honest. She's never once come to where I work and knocked the dicks out of any _our_ mouths. Ask Erica!

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

I hope The Woz shows up tonight, despite his breakup with KG. He had the crew in stitches last year with his Dobbs impression. Great guy!

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

@mspark Clerical error. Apologies. I've had that intern fired and replaced with one that's more attractive.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

While meeting Jennifer Connelly yesterday all I could think of was the day Lou reenacted a scene from Requiem for a Dream. Yeah, _that_ one.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

@tkpleslie Yes. I'm real, and I'm _spectacular_.

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Dobbs just took a bite out of Wolf's leg after finishing off what remained of Heidi Collins! He's warming up for tomorrow! SEND TRANQUILIZER

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Ah, the memories. My first ever tweet: http://twitter.com/andersonscooper/status/357449722

[The Coop @andersonscooper]

Thanks for tuning in to ExtremeMakeover: SpaceStationEdition! Joining our astronauts are 9 employees from Lowes & the cast of TradingSpaces!