Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles

Father of 3 | Lover of Waffles | Voted Longest Pair of Balls 2007 | Amateur Masseuse |
Hershey College ‘08

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

I’ve had enough #obliterate

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Only non-flops Andre had before going to the gym today. Everyone is laughing and chanting faggot #selfdestruct

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Looking for a crew of thirty hearty men. We set voyage for the edge of tomorrow, singing shanties and tales of treasure. You may perish, but treasure always comes at a cost. #helpwanted

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Sure Lindy I’m sure Mykonos will be great. Is anyone currently driving? I’m going to give you my location so you can drive directly through the wall behind me.

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

It turns out a high noon and a boat has been the solution I’ve been looking for all morning. The sun has made my back into absolute #tomatotech tho so be wary

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

One tiki umbrella. A paddle-board. Piña colada fixings and your buddies pool. Try that for an afternoon and tell me you don’t cum yourself #enhance

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Rakai just rizz her bro. I know you have it in you bro. #WorldCup #Messi

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Gonna install the full stop at the first stop sign on this hungover drive. #dynamicwarmup #highknees

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Well I don’t want to jump to conclusions , but, the stripper was most certainly looking at me in that way. #incinerate

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Yes, the 2023 bronco comes with ashtrays. #expand

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Dads #elonrustbucket is in #smithereens. Moms #stallion needs to catch some #shuteye. The Bronco is getting the call. #batterup #theACK

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Cigarettes inside the Benz (leather interior with a maple finish) with the windows purposely up. #stallion

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

A Nissan versa driving ten under in front of me gives me an oddly large desire to throw my #porsche into oncoming traffic. Holy shit throw that #duster away and don’t come back until you make enough to even glimpse at this #breesh #chrome

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Why do all baristas choose to have the worst fucking trim of all time? Is it a job requirement to have it look like a wet yorkie just died on your head? Do they all come like this?

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

@Bufordbojack67 how’s your muffin

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Yes I’m drinking a high noon. Did your caddy not give you that read on a 72 degree, biddies bouncing it, im gonna go through a gram type afternoon? #futures

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

Sometimes in my room I enjoy a nice homemade lasagna. I get under my covers and spread the sauce on my comforter like there’s no tomorrow, man do I have some fun. Anyways happy Wednesday everyone.

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

@FeeredBuckP @WhiteHouse @ufc Subscriptions are for pussies.

-Andre Pickles

[Andre “Hand on Hog” Pickles @andrepickles74]

@bennyjohnson Is this real?