Andrew Jackson

cereal makes me happy

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@lily_siebold

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

The people who run maintenance at my house have been MIA for months and finally came today and played a good hours worth of scratch off lotto tickets in the parking lot behind my house and left.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

I just brought a george foreman into my room to make grilled cheese in bed high stakes high reward

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

Why you always hate to break bread?

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

The fact that Russia literally fucked up America using propaganda on twitter and other social media should be a wake up call for you fucks who believe everything they see on social media.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@MisfitsRus_99 You forgot to mention our most important function, getting tight lids off jars.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@WinterCastro You should also apologize for all the brain cells I lost trying to read this.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

If you get Subway and don't get it toasted I don't trust you.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

When my parents get me clothes as gifts they like to buy them 2 sizes too big to subtly tell me I'm getting fatter with each passing day

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@timelesssports_ I'm just a dog

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@SkylerJBaise ?

[vanessa @marievanessaxo]

I get scared when I get too happy because something bad always happens lmfao

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

Yo I support womens rights and all but im just sayin I would be a lot more sympathetic and concerned about the wage gap if I had never seen a girl make $50 in an instant by taking a picture of her feet

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

I just hung up on a telemarketer after listening to him for 15 minutes because when he answered he said "Thank god someone answered, i was beginning to think everyone was going to ignore me like my ex-wife and kids" Ive never felt so bad about not owning a timeshare.

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@jake_gootz Coco puffs > Reese's puffs no question

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

There's no lemon so sour that you can't make something resembling lemonade

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

@cassidyw530

[Andrew Jackson @andrew_33j]

My parents caught on to the fact that when you have to give your phone number to websites telemarketers blow your phone up, so now they use my number instead and I get at least 10 calls/texts a day from indian people asking for my credit card info

[Mary @Mar_Ryz]

Sometimes I think that Athens is just like any other college then I remember the time that a plane casually landed at OU’s airport with a ton of cocaine hidden under copies of The Bee Movie hahahahaah