The Anti-Hipster

Master of the portmanteau and fluent in three slanguages.

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

I'm having a morning like Phil Connors and everyone wants to come at me like Ned Ryerson.

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

My sis got me this shirt because she really gets me. #veep https://t.co/WwVxEcfV9o

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@wyeoak The day after my birthday. So close.

[horse massacre @torqpenderloin]

I sure hope they bail out the patriots for once https://t.co/5aQUh9t0x7

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo https://t.co/t8ibsZDRlh

[Georgia Hardstark @GHardstark]

This is glorious. https://t.co/QZU033yX2T

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@asthestorygrows @Petkau @jehuthehunt @n_droo_yu_el @_jeremiahn @stormlandbrand @sethw @EPdrums @BjornBauerArt @fatcalbert @travisjwagner @bryanpatton84 I haven’t forgotten! I was on Twitter sabbatical and am down for whenever, whatever.

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Clipping a cat’s toenails at a Dave & Busters. https://t.co/4dJsRNzwwA

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

[reading date card on the bachelor] it says we’re going to literally the stupidest place to do the worst thing in the entire world

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Today is my late Pop Pop’s birthday and to commemorate it I will feed slices of tomato, using a fork, to a German Shepherd.

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo Timothy Simons is my lodestar https://t.co/cAqjFzM5Zh

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@mrpenisbottom https://t.co/H8ze7vLrbR

[horse massacre @torqpenderloin]

cool that Oasis are famous Man City fans

im trying to think of any famous Arsenal fans

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo https://t.co/PMjtjWr4mE

[horse massacre @torqpenderloin]

- whats your shirt
- it's a band
- are they like *makes roaring sound*
- it's instrumental
- so it's not like screamo
- can I go now

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Legend. https://t.co/ioPfSkoPBX

[Phoenix Suns @Suns]

One-Eyed Nash gets his revenge against the Spurs in this installment of #Since68! https://t.co/2GFylhKwOo

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Republican playlist tomorrow:

“Let’s not politicize this”
“This is not the time to discuss gun control”
“Guns are worth more than children”

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tara_sometimes Hahahaha, how about ‘Fatherino’

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Andy, where do you get your sense of humor? From my dad.

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

Having loudly farted in the community library, the good news is that no one was there. The bad news is that the librarian knows it was me.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My cousin Aaron had hemorrhoid surgery yesterday. https://t.co/Z9zGXzZECf

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@mrpenisbottom No one will be talking about either tomorrow. One because ‘baseball’ the other because ‘no one in the US ever wants to talk about spurs

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo https://t.co/4MOKEiKPGg

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

“That stripper really liked me!” https://t.co/f9EtxQVYEj

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo bono https://t.co/egYdUtbZma

[Chris (Simpsons artist) @getbentsaggy]

the new iphone xox

[The Anti-Hipster @andrewcolosimo]

@tampon_rodeo hahaha https://t.co/ijq11QRiyc

[Chris (Simpsons artist) @getbentsaggy]

fun halloween costume ideas xox