andrew

fuck you

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

thinking about the time my friend yelled fuck you at some dudes walking on the sidewalk in downtown Denver for no reason and we ended up sitting at a red light for so long they caught up to us and just stared at us awkwardly while we laughed our asses off

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

when someone yellows and lets it mellow in my fucking toilet it fills me with rage

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

liberals tweaking out about the White House being used as a UFC backdrop is the biggest nothingburger ever meanwhile we’re giving trillions of dollars to Israel and our elites are pedophiles good shit guys

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

if u rlly think about it i kinda have a cisgender tdick

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

when most people get drunk they want sex or a cigarette but i want fast food so fucking bad rn

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

when someone favorite poem is the two headed calf u know they’re cattle

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

call me by your name 2: this time it’s a CHICK!?

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

i’m deadass ageist as fuck why is literally every single old person in public a massive airhead that just stands there jaw agape as if they aren’t taking up other people’s space

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

@JustSoDelighted catching fat furry dragon poop nugs with my mouth like its hibachi

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

don julio i don’t drink gin

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

being skinny and going to the thrift store must feel so fucking good

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

my life would be so much better if i had no job no bills no responsibilities and just took care of a belgian malinois all the time

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

wait dad… if i’m here.. that means.. MY MAN 😂😂🤝

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

it’s heartbreaking how fucking ugly bladee is bro

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

when i was 18 and actively losing my virginity my parents let me stay over at a 23 year old man’s house for days at a time and i’d come home with massive hickeys and i still wonder why they let me do that

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

the bullshit i be texting my boss at the asscrack of the morning

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

holy fuck ripping the “epstein is alive living in cancun with tupac” joke at the fathers day dinner table might be the most laughs i’ve ever received

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

mom saying “that was fast 🤨” after i came back from the restaurant bathroom like ugh mom yes i hit my vape AND i pissed

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

@nikkotiinee follow me back pussy sorry

[andrew @andrewfucksity]

it’s a motion party you cannot get in