Andrew Jay Cohen

Director-co-writer of The House. Also co-wrote Neighbors movies and Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

Don't eat a philly cheese steak while holding your baby

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

F0llow m€ on those other platforms! The one with text and also the one with pictures. I’m outta here. Same ũser n^me….but actual content. I miss you

[Cool Box Art @CoolBoxArt]

Lost Luggage / Atari 2600 / Apollo / 1982

[Justin Russo @FlyByKnite]

The only scenarios that matter now in the West.

[Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats]

HBO needs a theme park.

I want to drive Waystar Royco bumper cars.

I want to ride Euphoria river boats.

I want to die in a White Lotus themed haunted mansion.

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

No one honks as loudly as the driver not directly behind - but TWO cars behind - a driver still stopped at a light that just turned green

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

Of all the features of getting older, the one I was least prepared for was white nose hairs

[Ken Cheng @kenchengcomedy]

Here's my pitch: a Predator movie but the Predator shows up in 1987 while they're on set filming the original Predator movie

[Paul 💀, (exhausted type) @RoboticoEl]

Hi. My name is Paul. I have a PhD and tenure. Today I decided to test if a bottle of super glue was open by squirting it into my hand.

Then I tried to clean my hand by wiping it on a box.

[Jason Short @jason4short]

I had to make a before and after to really appreciate how good the James Webb Telescope really is.

[Maybe: Fred Benenson @fredbenenson]

this conversation about consciousness and emotions and death with an AI named LaMBDA at Google is absolutely chilling

this is without-a-doubt one of the craziest things I've ever seen technology do, I almost can't believe it's real

wow @nitashatiku

https://t.co/DoBadeXRrZ

[Jackie Faherty @jfaherty]

Dear #nyc, Tonight is the first of the #manhattanhenge sunsets. The midpoint of the Sun will “kiss” the grid of Manhattan right before it sets below the horizon and it will be perfectly framed by the cross streets and all the glorious buildings. Don’t miss it!

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

@realbuddapatow It wasn’t even that dirty an album. It was Olivia Rodrigo

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

That feeling when you drop your kid off at school… and change the album version from clean to explicit. This is the pinnacle of freedom. This is truly what life is all about

[Pato Molina @patomolina]

Minimum Viable Product.

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

@peterbwarren Chicago! New York! Miami! Beijing? Abu Dhabi?! Hong Kong! Pittsburgh?!??

[. @swordsjew]

Here is my very angry column about anti-vaxxers who wear yellow stars -- and their compulsive self-comparison to Holocaust victims. It's also the story of the heroes who smuggled a typhus vaccine into the Warsaw Ghetto, and brave sabotage in Buchenwald. https://t.co/U5ADxOtqHf

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Whenever a magician tells me to “pick a card, any card.” I pull out my wallet and pick this one.

[Andrew Jay Cohen @andrewjaycohen]

Ok hear me out. Uber for shrink appointments. I can’t make it, but it’s less than 24 hours and I can’t cancel? That’s fine! You take my appointment