Andrew Pelzer

AΦΔ Only plugged in to save rock and roll

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

I need him so fucking bad tonight (putting my fitted sheet back on)

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i cant figure out which one is the gay person and which one is the english teacher

[ess @essaere]

THEY CALL ME GEORGE THE WAY I GOT A W BUSH

[mariaa @notmariaaa_xz]

doing this with a bacon egg and cheese in the hudson river

[Preto Don @DonTheCreator_]

it looks like he’s guest starring on hannah montana

[lauren @abovethelau]

Thinkin about the time I traded a personal trainer friend a tattoo for a weight gain meal plan and it was just like “eat a lot! Try peanut butter :)” I was SCAMMED

[Patricia Wallinga @pwallinga]

Conservative backlash against Broke back Mountain:

[Riot Kassadin @Riot_Kassadin]

''cant wait to play some league of legends today''

3 games later:

[Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd]

we are the daughters of the shawties you couldn't fireburn on the dancefloor

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

@poppamol Reasons we HATE MARVEL

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

@nicole_pelzer Matilda got your ass

[Grace Jarvis @gracejarvisohno]

if a woman tells you you have “nice hands” she is doing everything in her power not to fuck you senseless please release her from her torment her friends are receiving the kinds of messages someone in prison would send

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

Hot take: we don’t let Mitch McConnell retire and work him into the ground, literally. Every day wake his geriatric ass up on 4 hours of sleep and let his dementia ridden brain dissolve

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

@nicole_pelzer Me at work

[rayC @PG_rayC]

My mans just pulled up with the mc setup and gave me the mc beating at a Pokémon tournament 😂☠️ @McDonalds @PokemonTCG

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

“ELEMENTAL features Pixar’s first nonbinary character” oh so we’re just ignoring this legend’s impact??

[Andrew Pelzer @AndrewPelzer]

@nicole_pelzer It’s me if I was there