andrew rizzi

Creative & Writer

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

One day I will have kids and they will ask me, "Daddy, what's a DVD?" And I will say, "It's nothing. Don't worry. Download your dinner."

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

@zelley It has to be Heinz.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

@tbettz Just rickroll the fuck out of us. I would have to tip my cap. And then jump into Lake Ontario.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

I don’t use this piece of shit app anymore but I’m here for all the Ohtani conspiracies and magnificent rumours from opera singers.

And if he signs with the Dodgers I’ll delete this fucking app for good.

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

Being trapped at Burning Man seems almost as bad as being trapped in a conversation with someone who went to Burning Man

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Stealth wealth, quiet luxury… what’s next? Loud poverty? Boisterous broke?

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Still a nerd.

[Morning Brew ☕️ @MorningBrew]

ICYMI: Zuck was busy crushing the Murph challenge yesterday in honor of Memorial Day

The full workout:
- Run 1 Mile
- 100 pull ups
- 200 push ups
- 300 squats
- Run 1 mile

Oh, and he did it with a 20 lb weighted vest

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

@gregisenberg Credit to Coco Mocoe on TikTok. Just share the clip you got this from instead of claiming it’s your own thoughts: https://t.co/Wn1QKzIvBQ

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Quintessential Doja Cat move.

[Rolling Stone @RollingStone]

Doja Cat lands a new partnership with Skechers, as the shoe brand's first-ever 'Artist in Residence.' #RSRecommends https://t.co/PMJfJkIFrw

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Cue string cheese brands making a human string cheese Succession reference tomorrow and LinkedIn being like, “Holy shiiiiit this is soooo smart can you believe how fast they did this? They referenced a popular tv show? Fucking incredible!!!”

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

There is an epidemic going on that nobody wants to talk about.

People who use the word “chuffed” to announce some bullshit on LinkedIn.

Unfortunately for these people, they can’t be saved. They are already chuffed.

Stop the spread. Don’t be chuffed.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Today was a good day. ☀️

[Sid Seixeiro @Sid_Seixeiro]

I just saw the sun for the first time in 23 days and it feels glorious.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

I understand why free agents in pro sports never want to come to Toronto. The weather really does fucking suck. We haven’t seen the sun since mid December. Why would anyone choose this?

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Michael Jordan’s mansion looks like one giant shitty hotel conference room. Call it the Howard Johnson.

[Robert Littal BSO @BSO]

A Virtual Tour of Michael Jordan's 56,000 Square Feet Mansion That No One Wants to Buy Even Though MJ is Offering it For Half Off and Throwing in a Pair of Jordans (Video) https://t.co/JjqSNZyOXA

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

@Liron_Segev @Casey Emma Chamberlain has already been doing this for the past year. Slower and more chill. Making “seasons” is the way forward.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Umm this is Tartufo.

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

It seems unreal. On January 1, 2022 snow fell in the deserts in the northwestern Saudi Arabia, in the town of Jebel al Lawz in the province of Tabuk. This is what it looked like under the desert sands

[read more: https://t.co/twikSQzknW]

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Everything?

[LADbible @ladbible]

Name something that is criminally overpriced?

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

@BabakPourmand Never don’t close this door, ya know what I mean?

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

He looks like he knows what you did last summer.

[Kyle Walsh @turboturtles98]

Kanye West at Matsutake in Frederick

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

When the elevator doors open and there’s no one inside.

[andrew rizzi @andrewrizzi]

Quack…quack…quack

[Dante' Jones @Dantej21]

Man I have so many questions 😂😂 only in Kansas City!