Andy Freeman

[Brian Roemmele @BrianRoemmele]

Children of Ozark mountaineer, Arkansas, 1935.

[Steve Harvey @IAmSteveHarvey]

What’s good?

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

@sandyravage11 Really before the touch of the first crisp breeze... I consider the first long john day of the season to be more holy than any solstice.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

Many people say they've taught their dog some "tricks" or something like that. Not me. I teach my dog one thing and that is to take life seriously.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

@HAZ_taLa_Vista In the words of Megadeth "Peace sells, but who's buying?"

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

I'm getting pretty excited that my birthday wish is going to come true. It's not like me to wish for World War III, but I try to be realistic when blowing out the candles.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

@BarryOdomBurner Thanks buddy so appreciate you for that, if you need any other mysteries solved or desire to know the best college football tidbits - you know where to find me

[The CryptoNaturalist (Jarod K. Anderson) @CryptoNature]

If you've ever grabbed a stick from the ground and thought, "oh, this is a good stick," then we're family.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

I'm considering becoming a social media unfluencer. If you want to buy something, but you know you shouldn't, give me a holler and I'll tell you why it's complete shit.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

Coworker asked me today if I had plans for the fall, it took me a while to realize they meant the autumn season and not the impending collapse of civilization.

[David Gardner @byDavidGardner]

Norm MacDonald on battles with cancer: “I’m pretty sure, I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. That’s not a loss. That’s a draw.”

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

We get the power to choose how we view the world around us. For instance, I saw a huge spiders web outside my door with gobs of tiny spider eggs and whatnot. Instead of being a poor host I decided to see the situation as a way to get started early on decorating for Halloween.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

@BarryOdomBurner @sandyravage11 Just wish he'd stop calling me Drew...

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

I haven't done laundry in so long my ketchup stains are starting to get gravy stains on them.

[LV | SFV @lilvirality]

next time it’s raining, instead of cowering inside, charge out and enjoy it. will your clothes get wet? likely. will you invoke primal esoteric blood memories of your ancestors? also likely.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

Heard this guy talk about his company performing some kind of guerrilla marketing. I told him that sounds like a lot of monkey business.

[Andy Freeman @andy___freeman]

I may not be the first person to put a cold hot dog in a taco shell and call it supper, but I bet I was the first to do it while in my underwear.