Andy Benson

Following interesting people and trying to make the world laugh, one bad joke at a time!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Anyone feel like there is a cartoon that portrays your life. Problem is that I'm the guy with pointy hair. "You! Do something useful!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

So who is giving up what for lent? #PancakeDay

[Life's Oasis @Lifes_Oasis]

Pain is temporary, pride is forever.

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Success won't come to you just sitting around. You need to go after it like a T-Rex chasing a yellow and green jeep.

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Got thrown out the pub today for eating my own food. But their prices are way too expensive and I haven't had a bbq since last summer.

[Life's Oasis @Lifes_Oasis]

I have no home, I've lost control and there is no escape.
I really need a new keyboard!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

If you don't look forward to Monday mornings, you should think about changing your job, you spend more time with workmates than anyone else!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Ever think you're too small or insignificant to make a difference? Spend a night in the same room as a mosquito!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Yep, this is exactly how it is after I've just worked out! #feeltheburn

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

If you get a PhD, does that make every meeting you have a doctor's appointment?

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

How do you get an sweet 80 year old lady to drop the F-bomb? Get another sweet 80 year old to shout BINGO!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Ha ha, brilliant! https://t.co/kilbTcFQ7n

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

So........ what you're saying is that reality is actually an illusion brought on by lack of alcohol? Mind.............Blown!!!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

How my brain is going to behave at work today after being woken up at 3am and can't get back to sleep. Still, I like monkeys so it's cool!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

The moment someone eats the last slice of your birthday cake and you hadn't had any yet!

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives - Anon

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Happy Tuesday world. Time to own it.

[Andy Benson @andybenson18]

Hey @robandmark @robprogressive ! On a course with @PaulOMahony and always impressed by the diversity of the people who use Progressive! +++