Andy Hunter

Music is the answer

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Vegans: "Drinking cow's milk is unnatural!"

Great point.

So instead of pulling on some teats for thirty seconds, we've developed a twelve-step industrial alternative.

Step one: grow almonds in California, a drought-afflicted state currently depleting an aquifer that took twenty thousand years to fill.

Step two: ship them to a processing facility.

Step three: soak them in water. California water, specifically, because almonds need 15 gallons per ounce and California is already rationing.

Step four: pulverise them into a slurry.

Step five: filter the slurry through fine mesh, discarding most of the actual almond in the process. That was the bit with the nutrition in it. Gone now.

Step six: add more water, because the resulting liquid isn't watery enough.

Step seven: add sweeteners, because it tastes of nothing.

Step eight: add emulsifiers, because it separates in six minutes otherwise.

Step nine: add synthetic vitamins, because all the natural ones left in step five.

Step ten: add seed oils, because we apparently learned nothing.

Step eleven: homogenise, degas, pasteurise, and sterilise the mixture until it resembles no food that has ever existed in nature.

Step twelve: put it in a carton with a picture of a field on it.

The cow: stands in a field. Makes milk. Has done this for ten thousand years. No factory. No steps. No aquifer.

Unnatural, though. Very unnatural.

[PGA TOUR @PGATOUR]

Career-low 62
Career-best six birdies in a row
First round leader by three strokes

Have yourself a day, Robert MacIntyre‼️

[Kevin Clark @bykevinclark]

Rory. McIlroy.

[Sᴛᴜᴀʀᴛ ᴍᴀᴄ @ottawascot]

Get this man in office. He doesnt care about independence or gender issues, he just wants to sort out traffic around the Dekebone Roundabout.

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@Gee_Boay And wright 😭

[David Shedden @DavidShedden]

Any riverside Saturday tickets going?😅

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@jules_w83 Got one now thanks

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@kylerossx Is this still available?

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@michmcdougallx Is this still available?

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

Sack mcinnes now

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

Don’t know why we bothering turning up away 😂😂😂😂

[Kilmarnock FC @KilmarnockFC]

1’ | Goal for Aberdeen.

Duk finds the bottom right corner.

🔴 1-0 🔵

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@Gee_Boay Bag of cans and sc needed…..

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@mikeeaitken *officials*

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@craigreid1987 There’s a first for everything ma man 😂😂😂

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

Celtic knew what they were doing the other week. Put pressure on officials big games big decisions, embarrassing.

[Graeme Hanna @graeme818]

Kilmarnock denied a blatant penalty in added time.

After that ridiculous decision in Celtic's favour, we should be spared the usual paranoia and nonsense for a few days at least.

Wishful thinking... 😇

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

@dylanblack23 Tbf fergie was the master of it but aye it’s shocking

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

Paranoid fc getting decisions as usual

[Andy Hunter @andyh96]

Selling two tickets for the view at o2 academy Glasgow,15th December

[Gee @Gee_Boay]

As expected the introduction of VAR continues to fuck every Scottish team. System works, the people in charge shouldn’t be refereeing Sunday 5s down the powerleague