Andrew Mack

Tweeting since 2012, Great since 1984. Former child, with a star sign. I do standup and a podcast, follow the link.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@AvisSouthAfrica I have called your Sandtion Branch 3 times and been on hold for a minimum of 10 minutes each time. All I require is a confirmation of when I can collect the car my insuraure arranged for me.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@KingPriceIns This has been resolved.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@KingPriceIns I have recevied two summons for and accident in 2023, both of which I have sent to you. Now my bank account has been frozen for none payment.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

#PSA If you copy someone else's post, and pass it of as your own, you're a #POS

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

If you send me a voice note longer than 30 seconds, that's a phone call.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@KrystynaHutch I don't know how this isn't considered a win for men #ButtStuffChamps

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

#FreeBritney Produced by Netflix.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

Cosby dropping charges like a roofie in a drink #CosbyFree

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

#RIPJohaMcAfee. May you enjoy an endless feast of kaka in the sky!
https://t.co/lyJupvsdUh

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

There are some fire YouTube specials out there, and this @joelistcomedy queef is next level funny! https://t.co/yOgotq1cFo

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

If she let's you pee in the shower, she's a keeper.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@bertkreischer Ummmm Jesus! Just ask Mark Wahlberg.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@TimJDillion leading the charger. #Progress #WokeAF

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

Me on tinder.
Me: Do you like podcasts?
Her: I love podcasts, what do you watch & listen to?
Me: There's this pretty sweet one where they interviewed a dude who can poop his balls out of his ass.
Her: *unmatch, block, moves cities*
@tomsegura & @ChristinaP #YMH thanks for this.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

I'm so out of the loop, I just found out about TikTok. So it's a video app for people with diminished mental capacity? That's so progressive! #mentalhealth #humanrights #equality #education #socialjusticewarrior #socialchange

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@TimJDillon is the truth. #JennySlateJail https://t.co/dnICZjdqQe

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

What level of quarantine are you on?
Me: The level where I brought the kettle into my bedroom, for no reason. So I’m seconds away from losing my mind completely it seems.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

Due to the current situation, I often find myself thinking:
How did humans, as a species, mess things up so badly?
But then I remember they keep making Fast & Furious movies and it all starts to make sense.

[Andrew Mack @andymacked]

@PigSpotter Kyle: My wife has gone to the hospital five times this week
Jared: Mine too brutha, and she's not even got a cough.
Kyle: Ja boet, same, and she keeps washing her panites.