Decipiatur

I am Decipiatur, Angel of the Lord, servant to the Archangel Raphael. I'm the angel responsible for cloaking the mystery of God's work in mundane phenomena.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

Welp. @TheTweetOfGod tasked me with working such miracles as were necessary to keep Donald Trump president. I failed. It turns out that stochastic terrorism and false claims of election fraud are the “chariots fitted with iron” of American electoral politics. Back to my day job!

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@sarahcpr And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

Well, I failed the task Almighty God gave me: Preserving the rule of His Chosen, @realDonaldTrump. Now America won’t behave as a true, Christian nation should. @JoeBiden won’t cage children. He won’t work ceaslessly to increase the suffering of the poor & marginalized.

So sad.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@BillyBaldwin With respect, referring to this tragic loss of boats, MAGA hats, and flags as #Dumbkirk is offensive. The nearly 62,000 who gave their lives in Operation Dynamo to rescue 338,000 from the Nazis were, per @realDonaldTrump, suckers and losers. His supporters are not.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@BillHicks74 @AtyHans @_CROPES_ @danielbkof2 @CapturingChrist I miss you, too, heathen. But as you may know, Almighty God assigned me to work such miracles as are necessary to maintain his truest mortal disciple, @realDonaldTrump, as President. Even for me, an immortal being for whom time has no meaning or hold, it’s been a full-time job.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@yojack454 @realDonaldTrump @realDonadTrump Oh, I’m not an archangel, but thank you for the compliment! I’m just your regular, workaday angel, helping to enact the Will of Almighty God.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@yojack454 @realDonaldTrump 2/2 If you intended it for me, your insult is nonsensical. Douches are an effective tool for vaginal irrigation because of their controlled and focused stream. A douche bucket would be just a bucket, which is, of course, an aspect of God’s Creation, and therefore wondrous.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@VikktorNelson Fellow Christian, this is, respectfully, poor advice. Athiests face death with a grim rationality informed by what is, for them, a sensible & consistent universe. You should instead pray for pre-rational children to find God & follow Him unquestioningly thereafter, even to death.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@historyinflicks 2/2 The apostrophe fell off the contraction, not that he misspelled the plural of family. See? Now it's perfectly sensible & grammatical.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@historyinflicks 1/2 No, he counted right. 1-Fourteen 2-words 3-We 4-must 5-provide 6-a 7-future 8-for 9-our 10-white 11&12-family's 13-& 14-children.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

I usually support @aigkenham (& Creation obviously is 6K years old), but death, disease, & suffering ARE intended by God - & thus very good! https://t.co/y5SW0q4mAE

[Ken Ham @aigkenham]

To believe in millions of yrs is to falsely say God calls cancer & brain tumors “very good” cause the fossil record contains such diseases

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

Shame on Bostonians for drowning out the #AltRight. Don't you know the marketplace of ideas is meant to be a conservative speech monopoly?

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@The_Suburbanist A green flag (symbolizing kudzu), w/ a Dodge Ram rampant at center, alligator to its left, swarm of mosquitos to its right, & grits below.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@TwitCesar @aigkenham 2/2 equally, except for non-Christians, evolutionists, heliocentrists, LGBTQI+ persons, & anyone who seeks any goal contrary to our faith.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

@TwitCesar @aigkenham 1/2 How could @aigkenham's work possibly undermine society and peace? He preaches that all should be treated by as God commands: lovingly &

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

I'm an admirer of @aigkenham's work, but this is wrong. Loving God asks us to accept Him even though science only ever undermines the Bible. https://t.co/453SPxEHcx

[Ken Ham @aigkenham]

Observational science has confirmed the Bible’s history over and over again.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

Of course #FakeNews is all over this story, right @realDonaldTrump? Who cares! What great President would even need this committee? Reagan? https://t.co/37NiL6TszZ

[NBC Nightly News with Tom Llamas @NBCNightlyNews]

JUST IN: In letter to Pres. Trump, a mass resignation from the presidential arts and humanities committee.

[Decipiatur @AngelofScience]

This is so beautiful, and so true. God attends to you always, listening to your prayers, & lovingly answering nearly all of them with "no." https://t.co/k9HAGVIlPv