thinking of putting tags to attract weirdos to degrade me but i think it would drain my social battery and make me seem like a poser #groommetwt#masochism#pervert
i wish people knew i was on the verge of suicide i don’t want any special treatment or pity but i just want people to know so they see how much im struggling
TW
I hate when my mom uses suicide as some guilt trip thing. She thinks i know nothing about self harm and suicide. Its so annoying when she acts like shes some savior just because she chose not to kill herself and instead took care of me, saying that i should be grateful
i wish i felt the emotions i pretend to be feeling. I could be having multiple online personalities and not feel connected to any of them. Maybe i just don’t have a personality but i also laugh at fart and poop jokes. Its like the way i act changes every second.
I think i am the way i am because of how the people around me treated me when i was little. I also wonder if i have some sort of disorder but all i can do is think and not verify. maybe its selfish of me to see if i have something wrong with me to excuse how i think of myself
I wish my mom didn’t try to guilt trip me all the time. It gets super tiring, shes been doing this for as long as i remember. Talking to her makes me irritated, shes tries to one-up me in everything. Especially my own personal problems.
I wake up everyday feeling incomplete, i don’t remember my childhood at all. It’s like i just woke up in a random body and that i’m supposed to love my family but all i know is the people they are now. Trying to think about my forgotten memories gnaws at my mind.