The Angry Developer

We have a hilarious and notoriously angry co-worker. We tweet what he says. He doesn't know.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

I would personally like to thank the rain for making my grass so high my lawnmower needs stilts.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

These people at (partner company) are so fucking needy. They need a fucking blanket or something.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

(Local burrito place) Another time there a dude was rolling a burrito and it split and like made a huge mess and he asked me, “Is this still ok?”

Like are they docked for any lost tortillas or something?

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

I don’t understand why a tool that’s so fucking opinionated about declarative configs to create deterministic deployments forces you to use :latest, which pretty much shits on the very idea.

What fucking crack are these people fucking smoking?

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

Me: “Surely nobody would ever be stupid enough to put a space in a model number and break all my shit.”

Narrator: “The did.”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

CW: “Anyone have kernel panics with new MacBook and Catalina? seems to happen overnight while it sleeps.”

AD: “I had one the other day, but Catalina asked me if I wanted to allow them, and I said no.”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

Sometimes CSS feels like you are trying to paint a wall with a toothbrush.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

(Slack reminders) “Every morning at 9am slack is like BRRRRRRR like a fucking machine gun.”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

“Me reminds me of the dude who played Earl in My Name is Earl. What’s his name?”

“Earl?”

“No asshole the actor!”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

“So what’s the sprint goal?”

“Do all this stuff!”

“That is a terrible sprint goal.”

“Do all this stuff as fast as possible!”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

(Sprint planning) Points are like cryptocurrency. They don’t really fucking mean anything unless you want them to!

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

(In Slack, discussing code structure for a new project)

CW: “Where does the Java go?”

AD: “/kick [cw]”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

This is why we can't have nice things. https://t.co/LZReEkoSCc

[I Am Devloper @iamdevloper]

how to get funding:

keep saying blockchain really fast until people in suits get confused and throw you money

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

Some political garbage is on delaying the Star Trek broadcast. Oh yeah... this is why I don't watch tv. It's just a big shit sandwich!

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

“Got rid of the last production Gentoo server.”
“End of an era.”
AD: They’re not all gone, we just moved the trailer behind the new house.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

“So after fighting with it for hours, (AD) Windowsed it. He turned it off and back on. And then it worked.”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

“I’m sure we’ll never have two document systems going at the same time.”

“No, we have FOUR!”

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

(AT&T fiber) It might be pristine fiber that is hand polished by a artisanal installation team, but it’s still just 20Mbps internet.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

If you need something you just go to amazon and fucking buy it. If they don’t have it, it’s because you are trying to buy a Nintendo Switch.

[The Angry Developer @angrydeveloper]

I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth though. =( I wouldn’t rage if I didn’t actually care.