Alana Monterrosa

i’m here and i’m scared

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

someone help i can’t stop playing mario kart

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Like the Beatles said: It’s getting better all the time. Thanks, babe, for 27 amazing years!

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

i need some dope. by that i mean dopamine

[✨ AJ ✨ @a_deering1]

Me after my first Starbucks Double Shot of the day

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

sam: have you ever listened to nickleback?
cousin: i don’t listen to country

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@KellyMathes i pledge allegiance to the flag

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

idk if i’m tipsy or if it’s bc i’m in a relationship but watching jenna and juliens videos make me cry now bc i can just see how happy they are and how much fun they have w themselves and their dogs i@ such a pussy

[eric curtin @_ericcurtin]

I forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of jersey shore than asked it to write its own episode here u go

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@SamieLawdie @_aliaaa_ he kept sending me messages too lmao he’s so thirsty

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@KellyMathes “yo i’m really sad that [REDACTED] only likes men bc girl can get it “

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

y’all i have so many drafts that are dumb af just comment a number and i’ll post the one w the most likes since i got like 6 followers (s/o my roommates and friends)

[Genius @Genius]

“pyramids”: first half or second half? 🤔😩🔥 (there is no wrong answer)

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@SamieLawdie “i’ve never had baby fever, but ever since working at a grocery store and seeing those tired moms patiently cave and give candy to their crying kid has CRUSHED my cold exterior “

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@LongLiveDiaz “why do people drink beer with the intent on gettin drunk??
it makes you feel so gross and sloshey and full. just drink liquor fuckin pussie”

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@selftitldolivia “ever get just so mad that you throw up? epic”

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

I act like im ok but deep down inside i wanna release another old town road remix

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@SamieLawdie @GeorgiaAckley @KellyMathes T SHIRT TIIIIIIIIIME

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

i’ve had more non-english speaking people wish me a happy 4th at work but idk what to say back, “happy independence day, sorry we still have people in cages??”

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

@KellyMathes

[Alana Monterrosa @angstyanala]

illinois: blaze mode activated 😎