The Angsty Bartender

20+ years in the service industry can drive the sanest person mad. Slinging drinks in the Big Apple

[KATY PERRY @katyperry]

bandaids
out now
@Spotify
https://t.co/X01JZu9fJL

[KATY PERRY @katyperry]

Is it a…?

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

No, your child cannot sit at my bar. At all. First, it’s illegal. Second, a lot of people come to the bar specifically to get away from their kids, and they don’t want your screaming, kicking, noise-making child right next to them. #serverlife #bartenderlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Dear all the customers: telling your bartender "why don't you just go ahead and pour a little more in there" but not expecting to pay more is the same as going to Best Buy and telling them to sell you a 70" TV for the same price as a 55". Shut up. #serverlife #bartenderlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

The Lie: "Restaurant week will be great for your company! It will bring in new clients and grow your brand!"
The Truth: "RW is actually 1 month, will bring in only cheapskates who want 3-courses of your nice food at taco bell prices who won't tip or ever come back. #serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Dear every customer ever: whatever joke you want to make about the menu, we’ve already heard it at least 1000x. It wasn’t funny the first time, sure isn’t now. It’s like singing “Sherri” to a lady with the same name. She’s heard it all the time, hates it and hates you.#serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

G: SIR! His FOOD came out before MINE-UH. He ordered AFTER me
M: He got a salad
G: So?
M: U got a steak. Well done
G: So?
M: It takes time
G: U need to make this right
M: How?By changing the laws of chemistry?
G: What does chemistry have to do with it?
Me:🤦‍♂️

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Yes, definitely yell at your bartender over the price of drinks. They have complete control over pricing. No one above them makes any decisions like that whatsoever. #serverlife #bartenderlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

@DevonBott @PFTompkins Not surprised. Go to a Catholic cemetery: there are several graves just outside the perimeter. Those are for all the unbaptized babies; since they weren’t baptized, they’re not allowed to be buried on the “hallowed” ground. 😡

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

There’s nothing like cutting fruit behind a bar to remind you of all the micro cuts you have on your hands. #serverlife #bartenderlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

I could have a 1000-seat bar with 999 open seats and 1 empty but dirty, un-bussed seat, and I bet you a week’s pay the next guest to walk in would sit at the dirty seat... #bartenderlife #serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Not sure who needs to hear this but it’s a lot of you: tearing up your copy of the credit card receipt into a million little pieces for me to pick up literally prevents NOTHING. If I really wanted to do something shady with it, I can easily print another one. #serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Asking the bartender for drinks after last call & saying “It’s just 1 drink. It only takes a sec to make.” is, above all, a dick move. Also, it’s not about how long the drink takes to make; it’s about your drunk a** taking another hour to drink it. We want to go home. #serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Who wants to tell guests that tearing up the second credit card receipt into millions of little pieces doesn’t prevent anyone from scamming you. If staff wants to commit fraud & risk their job over a few extra dollars in tips, they’ll just print another cc receipt. 🤦🏼‍♂️#serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

@waitingonstupid I’m not sure where you work but people here in NYC always think it’s worth a chuckle to say, “we’ll just have [insert mayor’s name]’s finest.” 🙄

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

@cupkatemonster Crushing it.

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

Them: I don’t want a sweet drink.
Me: Ok, then I would go with-
Them: (interrupting) I’ll take the berry kombucha mojito.
Me: That’s one of our sweeter drinks.
Them: But it sounds so gooood.
Me: 😒
Them: This drink is too sweet. Can you make me something else?
#serverlife #FML

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

@coppa_marzia Haha, you beat me to my follow up tweet. “Just one more, come onnnnnn...”

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

If I could find my customers’ workplaces, I’d wait near their cubicles until they’ve been working 8 hrs straight, their boss just chewed them out & they’re drowning in emails & calls. At that moment I’d just lean in & say, “You know, you really should smile more.” #serverlife

[The Angsty Bartender @angstybartender]

@coppa_marzia Oh, you mean every shift?

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

Restaurant workers had a min wage of $2.13 plus tips in 1991.

Restaurant workers have a min wage of $2.13 plus tips today.

In 1991, average rent was $600 a month. Now it's $1,600.

I don't know, but this might be part of the explanation for why restaurants can't find workers.