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Uzak Sehir - Ep. 1- 25 - 1st season - Cihan, Alya, and Sadakat.
I have watched several (Turkish) TV series with abusive mothers or fathers but this is the first time I have come across a character who embodies a #narcissist mother (it is not made explicit in the series but I think she is).
It is about the character of Sadakat in #UzakSehir. The screenwriter #GülizarIrmek and director #AhmetKatɪksɪz not only paint this character very well (her facial and body expressions, words and behaviours) but also how her children (#Cihan, #Nare and #Kaya) were affected: i.e. what they feel and how they behave. And the actors are great in showing it: #GoncaCilasun #OzanAkbaba #SahraSas #AtakanÖzkaya
So, in my posts I will try to:
-explain why #Sadakat behaves this way but, more importantly, how a child (I will mainly focus on #Cihan) grows up with a #narcissist mother, giving some examples from episodes 1 to 25;
- explain that, contrary to what it may seem, Cihan is implementing his strategy toward his mother: he is not at all passive or blind to what Sadakat is doing. His character, indeed, is progressing on his path of awareness and will help Nare and Kaya a great deal as well;
-highlight the differences between Cihan and Alya before they met and how so far, until ep. 25, #CihAl have helped each other.
Let's start...
Post n.1
How does a #narcissist mum behave toward her child/children? I will mention only a few traits (the references are at the bottom of the last post).
A narcissistic mother…
- "…is extremely harmful and causes a great deal of pain to her children because […] she wants them to meet her own needs and is unable to consider those of her offspring."
- "She sends mixed messages. She shows pride on the one hand but, at the same time, sabotages her child's achievements and accomplishments."
- “She constantly criticizes and devalues, trying to maintain control."
- "Se does not want her child to become too independent for fear that her needs will no longer be met." +
@DreamsInFrames Yeahhh 💃🫂!
@DreamsInFrames I’m sending you loads of positive energy ✨and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🫂
I think Meryem didn’t show Feyyaz’s note/warning precisely because she knew Cihan and knew he would want to protect and help her, and she didn’t want to cause any trouble for either Cihan or Alya. In episode 63, she behaved in the same way: "So as not to disturb Cihan", she went to Mugjan ex-husband’s country house instead of waiting for Cihan's men.
From ep. 55 onwards, Meryem 'hoped' that Feyyaz wouldn’t try to hurt her or Cihan in Mardin. She hoped that, if he had to attack her at all, he would have done so in Istanbul.
Cihan was ambiguous with her and showing he was 'available' in some way, after telling her, "I didn’t tell Alya that I’m helping you". Why tell an ex such a detail, even if it were true?
As well as reiterating that he would have married her if he’d found her and that he’d rushed to look for her immediately after Azem’s death, blah blah. At the same time, I "understand" why Cihan did and said those things but I didn't like his behaviour.
S3. I’ve written several times, imo, Serhat is Cihan’s son; however, I think Cihan will face a lot of problems from ep. 64 onwards. So, I’d prefer it if Sadakat lied about the results of Serhat’s DNA test and the truth only came out once Cihan and Alya are both psychologically stronger and ready to leave Sadakat.
Imo, if Serhat were Cihan’s son and grew up with Cihan and Alya, Cihan and Alya would have the task of teaching their sons (Serhat and Deniz) not to fight over becoming an aga: they would break the cycle that Sadakat had deliberately set in motion, pitting Cihan and Boran against each other from a young age.
Mujgan would therefore have to give up Serhat (and it wouldn’t be difficult for her, given that she gave him up long ago). And Meryem would have to live with Serhat from afar. The task of telling Serhat that his mother is Meryem could fall to Cihan, so that he could put himself in Boran’s shoes and understand what it means to discover that one’s biological parent is someone else and not the person who raised them.
I think Serhat is Cihan’s because I find it really hard to believe that, with a psychopath like Feyyaz, Meryem managed to give birth to and hide Serhat without Feyyaz controlling her and finding out everything.
PS.I’ve written several times that I like Meryem, too: I don’t find her manipulative and evil.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
I think Alya was right to leave too (I’ve mentioned this in other posts) because Cihan didn’t want to talk about his dysfunctional behaviour or take responsibility for it or change it, even though Alya had asked him to do so several times. Alya didn’t leave, imo, just because of the ‘Serhat’ issue, but I don’t think she realised that wasn’t the only reason. To me, however, it is important that they show us how the subsequent stages of regression unfold, because they are crucial – both so that Alya can clearly tell Cihan what she doesn’t like about his behaviour, and to see how Cihan himself will change his behaviour. That’s why I wouldn’t want Alya to come back after a while.
Cihan's behaviour can be explained if we consider he is in regression and so reverted to his behaviours before Azem's death. As I wrote in my post (see link https://t.co/fuDDEIrvwL), indeed, "The golden child Cihan’s presumption led him believe that [...] he could marry Alya and protect his family and the villagers even though he knew Feyyaz had escaped."
It wasn’t just his arrogance, but also his eagerness to marry Alya as soon as possible so as not to lose control over her, given that Alya had already begun to rebel on a few occasions.
Cihan’s behaviour is highly dysfunctional and can be explained by the fact that he grew up and continues to live with a narcissistic mother and has been assigned the role of the "golden child". To find out what "golden child" means in families with narcissistic parents, see the link: https://t.co/mUzYUt2GSc
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Yanılmıyorsam feyyaz Cihan'ı Alya ile tehdit etmişti ama Cihan feyyazin kaçtığını öğrenince ilk aradığı kişi meryem oluyor üstelik düğün günü Alya konakta yalnız neden onun yanına gitmek yerine ya da onu arayıp dikkatli ol demek yerine meryemi aratıyor yazar?. 🤦♀️
@DenizBulutGuner To me, "Uzak Sehir” is a masterpiece – the 2nd season just as much as the first. In fact, you were really brave in the 2nd season, and I really admire you all for that. I’m absolutely delighted. Thank you for your dedication and the love you all put into your work 🙏.
S3. Imo, Alya isn’t pregnant. She has too many problems to sort out with both Cihan and Sadakat, as well as with Deniz, who has lost his dad again. I reckon Dicle will arrive by the end of the season.
First and foremost, CihAl need to deal with their own inner conflicts regarding the past and present, as well as their relationship issues.
They’ll also have to deal with the issue involving Ecmel, given that Deniz is his only male heir, as well as with the Bulgarians.
Season 3 will focus on Alya’s father, but also on Azem. Cihan has idealised his dad, as well as his mother’s relationship with him.
Imo, Season 3 will be wonderful for so many reasons.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Cihan and Alya will come to terms with their inner conflicts regarding their past (Boran, Meryem, Azem) and the present (Boran, Meryem, Sadakat) as far as Cihan is concerned, and (Boran, Fiko, her father as far as Alya is concerned). Moreover, Cihan and Alya will also speak openly about what they dislike in their relationship, namely in each other’s behaviour.
Season 2 - I stand by what I wrote in my post of 7 Sept 2025, in which I analysed the Season 2 poster:
"In S2, Cihan's control has ‘shifted’ mainly towards Alya and no longer so much towards controlling the chaos in his original family, as it was in S1. His control has also shifted more towards ‘power’ (‘the ring’), the lands of Albora, to defend them, but since the ring is almost hidden, the main control is over Alya or, rather, Cihan’s fear of losing her. [...]
In this S2 she still does not let herself go ‘completely’: both because her torso is not turned towards Cihan but towards the outside and because her two hands do not join together. Perhaps she is still afraid of losing him, just as she lost Boran and her mother."
The key elements in the S2 poster were, therefore, the ring but also Alya’s unjoined hands.
In Season 2, Cihan did indeed exert greater control over Alya, including through various manipulative techniques, and Alya tried to rebel against his control and behaviour but failed. And so, unconsciounsly she ran away, aligning herself with her true Self, using as her motivation one of the beliefs she had internalised in her false Self: “Wherever I am, I cause problems and I am not chosen. It is better to leave”. So she left thinking she was living only to allow Serhat to meet and grow with his dad Cihan.
The other key element in the Season 2 poster is Cihan’s double-breasted jacket. At first sight, it looked like a new one, but it was actually the one he wore in the Season 1 poster and throughout all the episodes of Season 1 and the beginning of Season 2. It was the one he had worn before Azem died and Boran left.
In ep. 42, by triggering regression, Cihan had resumed the behaviours and habits he had as a child, teenager and adult before Azem’s death; Gulizar then showed us the various outfits he wore, leading up to him wearing that double-breasted jacket. He wore that double-breasted suit again in phase n. 5, when he was in transition, as I mentioned in the post below:
https://t.co/T77o516mQf
This means that everything was already planned out in the S2 poster: regression, the return of the classic golden child with his triangulation with Alya/Meryem, and the various techniques to control Alya, the return of the scapegoat Boran, the misunderstanding and the scapegoat’s death for the second time, and Meryem’s return. It was all planned from the start, and not as I had thought that Boran’s arrival had happened later, nor the scapegoat’s death.
And, personally, I’m very pleased because, even though it’s a tragedy that the scapegoat has died and that the golden child will suffer terribly in Season 3 when he realises how he treated him for the second time—and it will be a tragedy for Alya too—Gulizar confirms to me that this series is primarily centred on narcissism and its consequences for the children, daughter-in-laws and grand children.
The originality of this series also lies in the fact that, as well as being realistic in depicting the dynamics within a family with a narcissistic parent, it focuses on the tragedy of the golden children when they realise they have misunderstood and mistreated the scapegoats.
But its originality also lies in the fact that it has shown us the behaviour of an adult golden child who loves to engage in triangulation with other women and exert control over his partner through various tactics.
The originality and courage 👏👏🏆of Gulizar and the production company also lie in the fact that the golden child is the main protagonist (Cihan).
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Here I am: I'm back 😊!
Cihan's right hand firmly holding Alya close to him, imo, means “he wants to keep her close to him” also metaphorically speaking, i.e. he is afraid of losing her. Together with the absence of the watch on his left hand, therefore, in S2 his control has “shifted” mainly towards Alya and no longer so much towards controlling the chaos in his original family, as it was in S1. His control has also shifted more towards “power” (“ring”), the lands of Albora, to defend them, but since the ring is almost hidden, the main control is over Alya or, rather, Cihan's fear of losing her.
On the other hand, Alya has her torso slightly tilted outwards and her left arm “clinging” to Cihan's neck/shoulder. Alya also wants to hold on tight, tied to Cihan and give him her heart, love him (right hand on Cihan's heart), but in this S2 she still does not let herself go "completely": both because her torso is not towards Cihan but towards the outside and because her two hands do not join together. Maybe she is still afraid of losing him, just as she lost Boran and her mother.
In the S3 poster, we will see Alya "completely" 😊 embracing Cihan 💙, with her torso facing Cihan and leaning against him 😍.
@hadeel_khr79519 Both of them will feel guilty.
@Uzaksehirdizi @ayna_yapim @ayyapim @KanalD Happy birthday, Mr Akbaba 🎁! I wish you every success and good health for you and your loved ones. It has truly been a pleasure to discover you as an actor. Although there are other actors I really like, I think casting you as Cihan Albora was an excellent choice 🎯.
Cihan cannot leave the country because he must face trial for Feyyaz’s death, and he will certainly also have to deal with his mother, who is accused of k!lling her son Boran. What’s more, Sadakat will blame Cihan and Alya for Boran’s death, and so his guilt will be agonising.
If, in episode 64, Cihan is still in transition and, therefore, still the golden child, he wouldn’t go looking for Alya, even if he weren’t on trial. He would go after a few months or a year, when his mother would start treating Cihan as a scapegoat. Cihan’s problem is that he tells his mother everything. And so, behind his back, his mother does everything she can to sabotage his plans.
I believe Alya will return on her own, after learning of Boran’s death, and will come back for his funeral because Alya needs to come to terms with her past (Boran, Fiko, her father) in order to have a healthy relationship with Cihan. Cihan, too, must confront his inner conflicts regarding his past and present (Boran, Meryem, his mother, his father) in order to have a healthy relationship with Alya and Deniz. That is why both of them triggered regression in S2.
I confirm what I wrote here on 4 December 2025 in the post below 👇with few changes:
"[...] what Cihan does not know, and neither do Nare and Sahin, is that Sadakat made a secret agreement with Boran (and perhaps Azem as well), but Sadakat’s goals were not exactly noble.
The agreement was that if Azem were killed by either Ecmel or Soyleman, it was Boran who would have to avenge his father’s death to allow Cihan to become aga without being killed himself, and that, in return for this gesture, Boran was guaranteed protection abroad so that he would not be killed.
When Sadakat presented this plan to Boran, Boran must have felt proud that his mother and perhaps even Azem had chosen him for this and, at the same time, that he could help and save his brother Cihan.
So Boran was not selfish, as everyone, including Cihan, believes.
The agreement was also that no one, including Boran, should say anything to Cihan, with Sadakat’s excuse being that she did not want to make him feel guilty and to allow the Albora dynasty to continue."
What I think is that Boran was set up by his mother. The agreement did not involve his departure, but she told him so afterwards, because the real reason Boran was to k!ll Soyleman was to get rid of him, as Cihan was beginning to rebel as well, and so she would have had two rebels at her mansion.
But it’s not just for that reason. Narcissistic parents drive out scapegoats regardless, because scapegoats are the ones who see through the narcissist’s mask, speak out, and rebel against the narcissist’s cruelty.
So, when Boran thought he’d k!lled Soyleman, his mother drove him away. And he didn’t say anything to Cihan because Cihan wouldn’t have believed him—since the golden child had always treated him badly since childhood, and besides, Sadakat would have denied everything, and Cihan would have believed his mother.
Boran was framed by his mother again later, imo, when he left, at the airport. I’ll talk about that in another post.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Ep. 40. Nothing is as it seems (Part I)
I confirm once again that Gulizar is an expert on narcissism and family dynamics of this kind.
I think this episode is a masterpiece, one of the best so far from various points of view.
There is also a new issue that has been masterfully shown related to family dynamics. I will not talk about it in this post but in a next one.
***
Let me start by saying that this post is aimed at open-minded and respectful people who can peacefully accept that there are many other ways and approaches to analysing characters in a TV series and that each of us has different points of view that may or may not be to everyone's liking.
This post is also only for those who understand the clear difference between “understanding”/ “analysing” a character from a psychological-clinical point of view and “justifying”, “defending”, “minimising” a character's behaviour and “violence”.
Those who want to impose their opinion on others speak for themselves, as do those who write negative and offensive comments about me or those who comment on my posts.
I will not reply to these types of messages. I will only reply to those who have constructive questions to ask me, written in a polite and non-offensive manner.
***
In this ep. 40 all the scenes are important. Among these, there is one (see photo) in which almost the entire Albora family is gathered: Cihan, Boran, Kaya, Nare, Sahin, Zerrin, Sadakat.
Alya is also there, who is an Albora, but in this scene she is sitting outside the circle formed by the others.
The only one standing is Cihan, who seems to be outside the circle but is not.
In this scene, we discover an important fact, a classic in families with narcissists.
Cihan, Nare and Kaya discover that Sadakat also spoke to Boran about Ecmel and, therefore, about Albora family matters, and that he was not unaware of everything.
The surprise and bewilderment of all three is evident. Cihan instinctively looks at his mother for confirmation that what Boran said was true and discovers that it is. This makes him even angrier.
These dynamics are very common in highly dysfunctional families, especially where there is a manipulator.
The technique consists of telling several people the same or modified version without telling others. The goal is always harmful, never noble: it is to turn people against each other, because when it is discovered that someone else knew, that person says and gets angry with other sibling/person not against the manipulator by saying, for example: “If you knew, why didn't you say anything/do anything at the time, in that episode that happened last night or 10 years ago or 30 years ago?”
And the manipulator will enjoy watching their puppets fall into the trap.
I think that in this episode, Gulizar told us why Boran went abroad.
I will start by saying that if Zerrin came up with an idea like going abroad for years (with a specific accommodation, money, bank account, etc.), it means that this is common practice in those families.
If it is a common practice, I think the same thing happened with Boran. In other words, what Cihan does not know, and neither do Nare and Sahin, is that Sadakat made a secret agreement with Boran (and perhaps Azem as well), but Sadakat's goals were not exactly noble.
The agreement was that if Azem was k!lled by either Ecmel or Soyleman, it was Boran who had to avenge his father's death to allow Cihan to become aga without being k!lled himself, and that, in return for this gesture, Boran was guaranteed protection abroad so that he would not be k!lled.
Boran knew he would not be chosen as aga: he had not been trained for this deliberately, but he grew up always wondering why, harbouring anger towards Cihan and his parents, on the one hand, and a strong love for both Cihan and his parents on the other, because narcissists insist on “unity” while doing everything they can to destroy it 💔.
When Sadakat presented this plan to Boran, Boran must have felt proud 💙that his mother and perhaps even Azem had chosen him for this and, at the same time, that he could help and save his borther Cihan 💙.
So Boran was not selfish, as everyone, including Cihan, believes.
The price Boran had to pay was to leave for abroad.
The agreement was also that no one, including Boran, should say anything to Cihan, with Sadakat's excuse of not making him feel guilty and allowing the Albora dynasty to continue.
The look on Boran's face that Cihan mentions in ep. 39 was not remorse: it was a farewell and an inability to tell Cihan why he had to keep it a secret, why he had gone to kill Soyleman without warning him, and why he was about to leave for abroad.
It is the same sad 'regretful' expression that Cihan makes (see video) in ep. 40 in front of Kaya when Cihan knows that she is hiding from him that Zerrin's son is his and that Zerrin is going abroad to give birth and raise their child.
When Boran killed Soyleman, Sadakat told Cihan to “protect” Boran by sending him abroad, and so Sadakat, the narcissist, got what she wanted: she had "separated" the two brothers, created anger between them, making Cihan believe that Boran was selfish and Sadakat's favourite, and had left so as not to take on any more responsibility.
Boran was led to believe that Cihan was the favourite because he had always been chosen to become aga.
But what Sadakat must have said to both sons, both separately and when they were both present, was: “We are doing this for our family because you, my dear siblings, must love each other as you always have. We are a united family”.
Sadakat says several times in the ep. 40 that she is sorry that her sons/siblings do not get along, while she does everything she can to make them fight now as in the past.
That is always Sadakat's goal. As in court, appearances dictate that the mother should support the couple or her son, but as soon as Sadakat senses that the judge does not believe Cihan’s and Alya's statements, she comes out into the open and drops the mask.
Cihan’s and Alya's statements are also fake, but the court is real. An expert judge can tell whether the defendants are speaking from the heart and whether are being forced to divorce or whether they are there by choice.
As if to say... Nothing is as it seems.
In that scene in the living room, Alya is standing behind and outside the circle because Gulizar wants to make it clear what was happening in that family before Boran left for abroad, i.e. before they got married.
There is still one more person missing from the circle, and that is Azem. Azem is not there, but it is as if he were, because all the decisions made in that family took place there in the living room, just as Cihan, Sadakat, Nare and Kaya have been doing since ep. 1.
Anyway, in my next post, I will explain why Boran is behaving this way. And in another post, I will explain the ancient rivalry between Cihan and Boran that was orchestrated by Sadakat, which is already described in part here in this post:
https://t.co/EBHpW2EvZw.
#UzakSehir #CihAl
Narcissists thrive on creating a stressful environment because it keeps others off balance and easier to control. The constant unpredictability, criticism, or manufactured conflict puts people into a state of hypervigilance—always waiting for the next blow-up, silent treatment, or guilt trip.
That stress isn’t an accident; it’s part of their strategy. By keeping you emotionally drained and distracted, they make it harder for you to think clearly, set boundaries, or recognize the manipulation for what it is.
Ep. 63. I stand by what I wrote on 4 December 2025, when I analysed ep. 40 (see post below 👇):
"But then I realised that Yalcin is not trying to cure Boran; in my opinion, he is trying to make him fight with everyone and kill him.
Because a serious doctor would say to Cihan or his family, 'If he has outbursts of anger, etc., let me know immediately so I can hospitalise him and give him a brain scan to see if there is any brain damage, etc.'
If he does not do that, it means that his intention is precisely not to do so.
What is unhealthy is the behaviour of everyone except Boran, because someone who has come out of a coma after a year may behave in this way [and is genuinely ill], whilst the others treat him as if he had never been in a coma, as if he were healthy.
It is as if they were angry at a patient on crutches and shouted at him, “Why are you on crutches!? Why can’t you walk without them?”
That is exactly how it went from the moment Boran woke from his coma until the end (ep.63), indeed: Yalcin made Boran fight with everyone and 'killed' him.
The tragedy 💔lies in the fact that everyone, Cihan and Alya in particular, trusted Yalcin not only because he is a doctor but because they were driven by resentment and anger rather than love and common sense.
The other tragedy lies in the fact that the other person to die in ep. 63 is Sahin, the only one who had realised that Yalcin was not an honest person and not to be trusted due to his behaviour with his wife Nare. But he was not believed 💔, just like the scapegoat Boran.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Ep. 40. Nothing is as it seems (Part II)
When a person has been in a coma for a year after an accident, there may be various types of damage and reactions from the patient.
Before looking at what these are, I would like to pause for a moment on another important aspect.
When a person wakes up from a long coma, that person must be monitored and relatives must be told to “keep the doctor who is treating them informed” if there are any unusual behaviours, irritability, orientation, recognition of people, etc.
Upon waking up, Boran fell twice, and on one of these occasions, he hit his head on the ground.
Yalcin certainly told Cihan that aggression, partial amnesia, etc., can occur after a year in a coma. And, indeed, Cihan says in ep. 40: “I want to attribute your aggression to the coma”.
But the point is that Yalcin should have done a brain scan, hospitalised Boran, given him sedatives, and had him see a neurologist.
And yet he did nothing.
At first, I thought Gulizar had done it on purpose, as she did with Boran's awakening and walking, which is surreal for someone who has been immobile for a year, without moving a muscle.
But then I realise that Yalcin is not trying to cure Boran; imo, he is trying to make him fight with everyone and kill him.
Because a serious doctor would say to Cihan or his family, “If he has outbursts of anger, etc., let me know immediately so I can hospitalise him and give him a brain scan to see if there is any brain damage, etc.”
If he does not do that, it means that his intention is precisely not to do so.
Gulizar gave me more clues about this.
When a person comes out of a coma after a year, phenomena such as aggression, partial amnesia about events that have occurred, emotional dysregulation, inability to manage emotions, personality changes, etc. occur. Coma can also reawaken painful events in that person's life.
In ep. 40, all the siblings, Alya, Sadakat, Sahin, Zerrin, and even Vurgun saw that Boran “is no longer the same person”,: “What happened to Boran? This is not the Boran I know. He has become a different person” (Sahin); Cihan: “Is this behaviour normal? Look what you've turned into!” (Cihan); “I don't recognise you anymore!?” (Alya).
What is unhealthy is the behaviour of everyone except Boran, because someone who has come out of a coma after a year may behave in this way, while the others treat him as if he had never been in a coma 😛.
They are angry at his behaviour. It is as if they were angry at a patient on crutches and shouted at him, “Why are you on crutches!? Why can't you walk without them?”
Why? Because they are angry and because Yalcin told them, “Don't worry. Everything is fine with Boran”.
And that's not true.
In 100% healthy or, at least, very healthy families, when a person's character, habits, etc., change completely or partially, the other family members first ask them what is wrong, try to talk to them to understand what is wrong, etc., but then, after a few days, they turn to a psychologist + doctor.
Why does not this happen in Cihan's family, even though Alya is also a doctor?
There is another reason and a this is a new element that Gulizar has included in her dizi that is fundamental: because when a family member is emotionally involved (especially if they are angry with that person), they literally do not notice that that person has a medical or psychological problem or that the doctor treating them is not following up sufficiently, and they get sucked and hooked into the family dynamics and conflicts.
This is also why, in previous episodes, when Boran fell or heard from Kaya that he was not well on the terrace, she did not intervene. It is as if her mission as a doctor, which also kicked in with the evil Sadakat, with Boran has been deactivated.
So, Dr Alya's reaction is understandable.
I am not saying that Boran would not have been jealous and angry upon learning and seeing that his wife was with another man - brother and not brother - but that his anger alternating with moments of calm is not unusual after a year in a coma.
I wrote "wife" because in his mind she is still his wife because for him a year has not passed and he also has amnesia and may have memory lapses due to the coma. In ep. 39 and ep. 40 Boran often puts his head in his hands because he really is not well.
Among other things, none of them put themselves in Boran’s shoes, either from a clinical or emotional point of view. A person discovers that his father was not his biological father and, instead of understanding his drama, which is not related to not being chosen as aga, but to the fact itself, they tell him that he is ungrateful because his life was saved.
Do you think that when Kaya finds out that Zerrin's son is his, he will say to himself the same words he said to his brother Boran: “I must be happy and not ungrateful because Zerrin did it to save our son”? Do you think he will react calmly or will he be angry with Zerrin and everyone else who knew? I would say the latter 😛.
In other words, imo, the “healthiest” character in episodes 39 and 40 is Boran 😛because he is genuinely ill, while everyone else treats him as if he were healthy.
Cihan is angry and therefore may not immediately understand that Yalcin is lying to him about Boran's health, while Vurgun, in my opinion, may become suspicious.
This is just my opinion.
In the next post, I will explain what the coma has awakened in Boran, in his memories and traumas from the past, and why Cihan is also becoming increasingly angry (and it has nothing to do with Alya).
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Ep. 63. The Death of a Scapegoat
Once again, Gülizar Irmak, the screenwriter of Uzak Sehir, has been realistic: a narcissistic parent managed to kill one of their children.
And, precisely, the scapegoat Boran.
The physical death of a child at the hands of a narcissistic parent, especially a malignant one, is the final stage of a long, slow agony that has been ongoing since birth.
The death of a scapegoat is a tragedy. When it is at the hands of a narcissistic mother or parent, it is even more so.
For those who have been reading me for a while, you knew that I’d hoped the golden child (Cihan) and the scapegoat (Boran) would reconcile face-to-face in ep. 63 (and, in that case, it would have been phase n. 6 of regression).
However, having watched ep. 63, I realised why Gulizar chose otherwise:
-ep.63 was realistic not only because it is rare for reconciliation to take place in person for a number of reasons, which I have already explained in my posts, but also because the golden child often realises just how much the scapegoat has suffered and how misunderstood they were only when the scapegoat leaves or dies.
As I wrote many times in my posts, when the scapegoat leaves or dies, the narcissistic parent assigns the role of scapegoat to the golden child, all the more so if the golden child begins to rebel and disobey orders just as the scapegoat did.
-Cihan had realised that Boran had been unfairly scapegoated the first time Boran left, immediately after Azem’s death. That is why Cihan loved his brother and had understood the meaning of that video-will from ep. 1 right up until he contacted Yalcin.
Not only did Yalcin deliberately fail to look after Boran after he came out of his coma, but he also made sure that Cihan thought the scapegoat Boran was truly evil, insofar as Yalcin had told and made everyone believe, including Vurgun, that “Boran was fine".
He was not fine at all.
I already talked about this in this post below 👇dealing with ep. 40.
From ep. 42, Cihan triggered regression (a defence mechanism) and, consequently, reverted to the behaviour he displayed when he was only the golden child.
As such, he once again treated the “new” scapegoat Boran (see picture on the right) as he had done from childhood right up until Azem’s death, believing that Boran deserved such treatment…
Even his ex-wife Alya, who had never spoken ill of Boran during their seven-year marriage, and who was heartbroken both at Boran’s grave in the early episodes of Season 1 and whilst he was still in a coma in Season 2, “If you’d told me, I would have stayed” (see video), misjudged Boran by not looking beyond the surface of his behaviour after his coma.
Boran had tried several times to harm himself, Cihan and Alya. Why didn’t they get him treated?
Alya knew, however, as a doctor, that after a car accident and a year-long coma a patient needs to be monitored and not left to fend for themselves like that.
But Alya chose mind, anger and resentment over her heart, medicine and psychology.
It does not surprise me at all that Alya did loved Boran and did not speak ill of her seven-year marriage to Boran, and that Deniz loves his biological dad, because scapegoats are chosen by the narcissistic parent(s) precisely because they are like Alya: intuitive, rebellious, honest, who immediately see through the narcissist’s masks and say so openly.
Boran was like that from a young age. And to silence him, Sadakat organised full-blown smear campaigns with the support of Azem and Cihan (and Kaya).
Treatments scapegoats receive in families with narcissistic parents are unimaginable.
They are blamed for everything and persecuted, humiliated and constantly marginalised at home.
In ep. 63, Gulizar replayed the same scenario: the scapegoat Boran, who had been misunderstood for behaving as he did, died.
The final scene of ep. 63 is also significant: Cihan, Nare, and the others are all with Sahin, and no one called out Boran’s name or approached him. His first killer, Ecmel���his biological father—approached him, and then he was completely alone.
Not even Hassan approached him (I can guess why).
This is the fate of scapegoats: to be misunderstood and alone, indeed.
Sadakat’s narcissism has once again triumphed over all four of his children 💔.
From now on (in S3), Cihan will once again be treated as a scapegoat and will realise once more how he had behaved towards Boran.
But this time it will be even more tragic than the first time because this time Boran is truly dead and Cihan will be left with a gnawing sense of guilt, just as that real-life golden child wrote about in the post I shared (you can read it here: https://t.co/AgDdgpz9la).
And it will be a tragedy for Alya as well when she realises this, on top of the fact that she indirectly has deprived her son of his biological dad and made him relive the same trauma (the death of a dad).
PS. I’m reposting my two posts here about what it means to be a “scapegoat” and a “golden child” in a family with a narcissistic parent:
https://t.co/Liln0VuIvA
https://t.co/mUzYUt3eHK
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Ep. 40. Nothing is as it seems (Part II)
When a person has been in a coma for a year after an accident, there may be various types of damage and reactions from the patient.
Before looking at what these are, I would like to pause for a moment on another important aspect.
When a person wakes up from a long coma, that person must be monitored and relatives must be told to “keep the doctor who is treating them informed” if there are any unusual behaviours, irritability, orientation, recognition of people, etc.
Upon waking up, Boran fell twice, and on one of these occasions, he hit his head on the ground.
Yalcin certainly told Cihan that aggression, partial amnesia, etc., can occur after a year in a coma. And, indeed, Cihan says in ep. 40: “I want to attribute your aggression to the coma”.
But the point is that Yalcin should have done a brain scan, hospitalised Boran, given him sedatives, and had him see a neurologist.
And yet he did nothing.
At first, I thought Gulizar had done it on purpose, as she did with Boran's awakening and walking, which is surreal for someone who has been immobile for a year, without moving a muscle.
But then I realise that Yalcin is not trying to cure Boran; imo, he is trying to make him fight with everyone and kill him.
Because a serious doctor would say to Cihan or his family, “If he has outbursts of anger, etc., let me know immediately so I can hospitalise him and give him a brain scan to see if there is any brain damage, etc.”
If he does not do that, it means that his intention is precisely not to do so.
Gulizar gave me more clues about this.
When a person comes out of a coma after a year, phenomena such as aggression, partial amnesia about events that have occurred, emotional dysregulation, inability to manage emotions, personality changes, etc. occur. Coma can also reawaken painful events in that person's life.
In ep. 40, all the siblings, Alya, Sadakat, Sahin, Zerrin, and even Vurgun saw that Boran “is no longer the same person”,: “What happened to Boran? This is not the Boran I know. He has become a different person” (Sahin); Cihan: “Is this behaviour normal? Look what you've turned into!” (Cihan); “I don't recognise you anymore!?” (Alya).
What is unhealthy is the behaviour of everyone except Boran, because someone who has come out of a coma after a year may behave in this way, while the others treat him as if he had never been in a coma 😛.
They are angry at his behaviour. It is as if they were angry at a patient on crutches and shouted at him, “Why are you on crutches!? Why can't you walk without them?”
Why? Because they are angry and because Yalcin told them, “Don't worry. Everything is fine with Boran”.
And that's not true.
In 100% healthy or, at least, very healthy families, when a person's character, habits, etc., change completely or partially, the other family members first ask them what is wrong, try to talk to them to understand what is wrong, etc., but then, after a few days, they turn to a psychologist + doctor.
Why does not this happen in Cihan's family, even though Alya is also a doctor?
There is another reason and a this is a new element that Gulizar has included in her dizi that is fundamental: because when a family member is emotionally involved (especially if they are angry with that person), they literally do not notice that that person has a medical or psychological problem or that the doctor treating them is not following up sufficiently, and they get sucked and hooked into the family dynamics and conflicts.
This is also why, in previous episodes, when Boran fell or heard from Kaya that he was not well on the terrace, she did not intervene. It is as if her mission as a doctor, which also kicked in with the evil Sadakat, with Boran has been deactivated.
So, Dr Alya's reaction is understandable.
I am not saying that Boran would not have been jealous and angry upon learning and seeing that his wife was with another man - brother and not brother - but that his anger alternating with moments of calm is not unusual after a year in a coma.
I wrote "wife" because in his mind she is still his wife because for him a year has not passed and he also has amnesia and may have memory lapses due to the coma. In ep. 39 and ep. 40 Boran often puts his head in his hands because he really is not well.
Among other things, none of them put themselves in Boran’s shoes, either from a clinical or emotional point of view. A person discovers that his father was not his biological father and, instead of understanding his drama, which is not related to not being chosen as aga, but to the fact itself, they tell him that he is ungrateful because his life was saved.
Do you think that when Kaya finds out that Zerrin's son is his, he will say to himself the same words he said to his brother Boran: “I must be happy and not ungrateful because Zerrin did it to save our son”? Do you think he will react calmly or will he be angry with Zerrin and everyone else who knew? I would say the latter 😛.
In other words, imo, the “healthiest” character in episodes 39 and 40 is Boran 😛because he is genuinely ill, while everyone else treats him as if he were healthy.
Cihan is angry and therefore may not immediately understand that Yalcin is lying to him about Boran's health, while Vurgun, in my opinion, may become suspicious.
This is just my opinion.
In the next post, I will explain what the coma has awakened in Boran, in his memories and traumas from the past, and why Cihan is also becoming increasingly angry (and it has nothing to do with Alya).
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
@Uzaksehirdizi @ayna_yapim @ayyapim @KanalD Happy Birthday, Ms Cilasun. You are a truly extraordinary actress. I’m really impressed.
63. bölüm muhteşem 👏👏👏. Narsistik kişilik bozukluğunu ve psikopatiyi, ayrıca bir narsist veya psikopatla birlikte yaşayan ya da yaşamış kişiler üzerinde yarattığı psikosomatik ve davranışsal sonuçları bir kez daha ne kadar harika bir şekilde ele aldığınızı takdir ettim.
Bu nedenle, bu konularda halkı bilinçlendirmeye devam ettiğiniz için size teşekkür ederim 🙏.
Ayrıca, 63. bölümde karakterlerin (veya insanların) davranışlarını anlamak ve onların kendilerini daha iyi hissetmelerine yardımcı olmak için “psikoloji”nin önemini daha da açık bir şekilde vurgulad��ğınızı çok takdir ettim.
Senariste, yönetmene ve tüm ekibe şapka çıkarıyorum 🙏🏆.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl @Uzaksehirdizi
Narcissists lie (they engage in gaslighting) and very often mean the opposite of what they say, as a sort of confession in reverse. For example, when Cihan once asked, “You told me you’d never lied to me,” Sadakat replied, “I always tell the truth.”
"I always tell the truth" in the world of narcissistic personality disorder means "I always lie".
When Cihan asked, "Did you give Boran the video with Meryem?", Sadakat replied, "No". “No” = “Yes”.
So, when Sadakat said to Boran, “How could you have collaborated with the mafia, especially the Bulgarian mafia!”, that was a self-confession, all the more so because she used contempt. "Contempt" serves to divert any suspicion even further away from the manipulator.
What’s more, as Sadakat is in regression, she made another mistake and gave herself away, because she said that she has used poisons in the past and will use them in the future (“The Bulgarian mafia deals in poisons”).
Ep.63. In my post below 👇from December 2025 I had thought that it was Hassan who was part of the Bulgarian organisation after Boran had told Vurgun: "No one in the family must know about the Bulgarians". I'll confirm this. In ep. 63, it emerged that Sadakat is part of the Bulgarian organisation. And, therefore, Hassan is acting on Sadakat’s behalf.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
Mmm...So, Hassan may also be working for the Bulgarian organisation under a false name.
When Boran tells Vurgun, “No one in the family must know,” it could also mean that someone in the family has already been recruited into the same organisation, but none of the family members know about it.
A bit like Sadakat or a good manipulator: she tells his two sons different things and neither of them knows until they find out over time.
When I say that Hassan or Boran, Vurgun "work for the organisation", it is not a judgement or a condemnation. Those who are lured in are not always bad: they are desperate, lonely and deceived. The manipulator-boss may be handsome, a doctor, a solicitor, etc., or a poor person at the bus stop or on the street who asks for your help or offers to help you, i.e. literally “hooks” you while you think they are giving you a hand, i.e. that it is a chance encounter...
But it is not. Victims are often lured in this way and once “hooked”, the bad boss types start with threats, demands for money, blackmailing family members (if you don't do this, I'll kill or kidnap your child, etc.).
The same thing happens with cults. Or with narcissists and borderline personalities, as well as all manipulators.
#UzakŞehir #CihAl
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