mal

gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard and a side of your finest jelly beans raw

[mal @animalloryy]

do you have a normal relationship with your coworkers or do you spend your friday mornings unpacking everyone’s disordered eating histories

[mal @animalloryy]

WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT PREGNANCY NOSEBLEEDS

[mal @animalloryy]

in every event

[mal @animalloryy]

not exaggerating, I think I have the best sister in the universe

[mal @animalloryy]

like if there was a sister olympics, she’d absolutely win the gold

[mal @animalloryy]

can confirm this is a solid strategy

[claussen pickles @ClaussenPickles]

Dating Tip: Always date a non-pickle eater, so there are more pickles for you. 🤔

[mal @animalloryy]

responding to a sassy email knowing I’m right and my coworker is wrong when they’re the one who cc’d a higher up

[mal @animalloryy]

someone should invent a shower recliner

[mal @animalloryy]

both my girlies in 1 photo 🐾💕

[mal @animalloryy]

stranger at the park told me happy Mother’s Day and I cried

[mal @animalloryy]

was in such a good mood yesterday and today I am consumed by rage lol help

[mal @animalloryy]

CRYING bc my lil 25 year old coworker just said she’s planning to bring me a meal after I have the baby 😭 like there are ppl in life that haven’t even checked in on me once this pregnancy & she’s over here thinking about my postpartum care

[mal @animalloryy]

fresh sheets + lavender spray really makes me feel like I have my shit together

[lil piss baby @11kmrn]

as a beautiful woman, i shouldn’t know what sharepoint is

[mal @animalloryy]

spilled coffee of my white pillow case 😭

[mal @animalloryy]

god I love me some mandolin and lil fiddle

[‎➳ ⋆.𖥔 𝘚𝘦𝘳 𝘌𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 @gildfae]

Her ass is fat bc it’s filled with her love for Lord of the Rings

[mal @animalloryy]

made the mistake of watching Noah Kahan’s tiny desk at work and now I’m crying at my tiny desk 🥺

[mal @animalloryy]

serious question: why is macaroni salad the only variety of pasta salad we specify by shape of noodle??

[mal @animalloryy]

the oreo reeses pb cups are everything to me

[Fart Corvelay @Mark_Cam_3]

pronouncing Bojangles like Los Angeles

[mal @animalloryy]

second night in a row building furniture with my husband and we’re both so overstimulated that we haven’t spoken in like 30 min