glez

glez with an e, but glizerina with an i

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

I remember telling a girl at the gas station that the man in her car should be pumping the gas . She said he was an amputee & that’s the day I learned to mind my fucking business

[i bless the rains down in castamere @Chinchillazllla]

just got catcalled from the backseat of a passing car. i am not intimidated. they don't even let you ride shotgun. you're at best third in charge of your own friend group.

[Kylie Cheung @kylietcheung]

I honestly just don't have time for this right now

[Laurasia, Pangea @AdvilCherry]

therapist really said "what does it take to to get suicide off the table" like it was an business proposal

[g. @redfourd]

Hey, I just noticed that you never use any fancy words. Are you stupid?

[turbomander @turbomander]

isn’t it so wild how now that im 27 we’ve all unanimously decided that it’s no longer funny to make fun of people for being close to or over 30, like phew that was a close one aha thank goodness we all made that decision together right everyone

[Bodie @bodie9210472856]

Constantly saying “long story short” with absolutely no intention of shortening the story whatsoever

[a n n a ⛲️ @fountaingirll]

Thinking about the time my husband took me to medieval times and I didn’t know it was rigged so I was yelling and screaming at my knight to get his shit together and at one point he looked over at our direction extremely exasperated before finally getting defeated

[hil @plume__]

panicked spelling out an insurance code on the phone and said “u as in… useless” and when the receptionist read it back to me she chose umbrella. that works too

[Netflix @netflix]

Pack your bags, we’re going back to Silver Falls 🤠 My Life with the Walter Boys returns AUGUST 6.

[Ochai Latte @nasimali]

under 200 inshallah

[leyla 🍒 @mrswamsbsgans]

one tree hill funny as hell cuz it got me like “damn dan is dealing with the crippling guilt of murdering his [redacted] and a lifetime of regret, also i sure hope brooke doesn’t fail her calculus test”

[hunter @3gpmh]

ngl i be faking peace bro i’m losing it at 7am sometimes

[char ᢉ𐭩 @alcdec]

doomscrolling on twitter feels so much more productive than doomscrolling on tiktok bc it’s like i’m basically reading

[miri @eggoslug]

I got that deer in me im going to jump in front of your car

[. @Fimiye]

i wish there was a more intense way to express my emotions than crying. i want to burst into flames

[antifa honeypot @mformorphine]

@saul_t_wun checking his work emails and it’s my full government name in there for the 3rd time this month