A.J. O'Connell

Author of ‘A Perfect Facebook Life,’ published by @Woodhallpress. Nerdy mom. Full time freelancer. First time DM. I do a lot of funny voices. She/her

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

It's publication day! A PERFECT FACEBOOK LIFE (woo humor!) is out today! https://t.co/5qSvwcBsEb

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Have had to text my husband and warn him that I smell like I am having an affair with a 90 year-old woman.

This is not what it smells like, honey. I swear.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

I want to offer myself a Werther's Original.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Over on FB an uncle is asking which aunt I am referring to. NICE TRY, Uncle.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

but also "girls don't eat too much - your figure will thank me later"

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

I didn't want to eat with these hands, but I was hungry. This experience smells like "Here, eat this, what - don't you like it? I made it for you"

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

I have to hand it to the folks at Chanel. This fragrance STICKS. I only put a little on the tips of a few fingers and now I have to amputate my whole arm.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

A friend suggested that rubbing alcohol would remove this smell, but it just added to the smells. Now I smell like Older Nurse.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

This is a Chanel fragrance. I thought I was safe because it wasn't my grandmother's favorite (No. 5) but apparently my aunts were also Chanel fans.

I smell like Stressful Family Holiday

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

I am having "I need oven space for this casserole" flashbacks

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Unthinkingly tried a free perfume sample today. Now I smell like Older Female Relative at Thanksgiving.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Watching #BarbecueShowdown with the spouse.
Being on this show would be my hell. If I’m a real horrible person in this life, I’ll wake up in the Smoke Shack with Melissa Cookson and Kevin Bludso asking me to make them food.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

When I got home I looked and saw
Ten thousand bug bites maybe more
Bugs were biting without caring
Mosquitoes dining without fearing
That my arms and legs had just been drenched with DEET
It was a treat
And now
I smell
Like bug spray

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Through forest paths I walked alone
The smarter hikers all stayed home
While 'neath my tee shirt ticks were creeping
I could have stayed home in my bed sleeping
And my eyes were assaulted by a cloud of tiny gnats
Thanks for that.
I believed your label, bug spray.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Hello, bug spray my old friend
Why did I bother with you again
As I wandered through the heat and damp
I drew more bugs than an outdoor lamp
And mosquitoes tried to fly into my brain
Some remain.
They aren't concerned by bug spray

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

@jedhunter1 @ericdresh That mug is AWESOME

[Jim Gilbert @jedhunter1]

Excited to be presenting at @MidWest_Dreamin again this year!

Join me and my @Huron colleague Sarah Cleveland, with Jason Barnes from @WesternMichU on getting buy-in for an enterprise vision!

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

Hello, bug spray my old friend
Why did I bother with you again
As I wandered through the heat and damp
I drew more bugs than an outdoor lamp
And mosquitoes tried to fly into my brain
Some remain.
They aren't concerned by bug spray

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

I agree that a room of one's own is important for women who want to #write, but there are days when I would settle for a single uncluttered surface.

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

If I've learned anything from Baldur's Gate 3, it's that you should not store tomatoes in basements.
#bg3

[A.J. O'Connell @ann_oconnell]

My 10 yo tried to insult me by saying CHA is my dump stat.
I am so proud.
#DnD

[Dave Jones - Part-Time Bear @DaveJonesActor]

It’s polite to answer the door when I’ve been knocking for half an hour when I can SEE YOU HIDING BEHIND THE COUCH, GALE