Anna Eila

[user @user84829272]

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid physique and relatively clean house

[andy from 5 to 7 @ChampagneAnyone]

before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate

[Veles de Vibecamp @keyofgeo]

“I don’t have a dog in this fight” : normal, if grim

“I don’t have a horse in this race” : less common, but meaning obvious

“I don’t have a dog in this race” : subverts expectations; strong imagery

“I don’t have a horse in this fight” : spellbinding, transcendent synthesis

[Jade Van Kley @BacklineNurse]

in light of recent events i have decided to become evil

[wire mother @poisonjr]

ohh my god you're a verb guy? should we tell? should we throw? should we invite

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear

[conor shack @ConorShack]

remember: when a band skips your city on tour it is always personal and they always hate you specifically

[✨🇭🇷marina🇧🇦✨ @themarinadove]

a second coconut has hit the context of all in which you live and what came before

[jamie loftus 🌭 @jamieloftusHELP]

neither of these candidates are existing in the context of all in which they live

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

the worst parts of a breakup are
1. right after
2. 4 years later when you find a perfect meme that only they will find funny

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

There is absolutely no reason that “spring forward” shouldn’t happen on a Monday at 4pm.

[katie @katefeetie]

me: what’s the last episode of this show that I watched
hulu: I don’t see how that’s any of your business

[John Shields, MD, FAAOS @jointdocShields]

None of your emails are finding me well

[Liam @LegoRacers2]

Underappreciated aspect of the Clinton/Bush years is how much of it was rainforest themed. You could expect toucans and spider monkeys to show up in any cartoon, cereal commercial, or GBA tie-in game. Try launching a biome-themed restaurant today and you'll be laughed out of town

[Sean Murray @NoMansSky]

never in my 3 days of trading have I ever seen anything like this