Unsolved mysteries is on Netflix now and it’s just official. I should have 100% beeb a detective. I just pulled out a notepad and started jotting down nots on this crime for real LOL go to ur real job, freak.
We are 4 mins in. Kickoff has not even happened. I will already be doing my own commentary. Yes there will be a teeeeeny bit of wine involved in mine but it’s bound to be better than these two DWEEBS. @cbs please find new ppl. If you’d like a copy of my commentary hit me up
My two year old child legit just woke up beside me in my bed, looked over at me with sleepy, barely awakened eyes and whispers: “doughnuts” to me. I just gave her a blank stare. So she smacked my forehead & legit went back to sleep. #why
My whiskey and sprite is ready. My nerves are nervous. Not too nervous but just the right amount of nervous. There is finally a chill in the Alabama air. Yes...yes it must be Alabama LSU day.
It’s not that I wouldn’t LOVE to go ahead and get my Christmas tree up and all...it’s just that I’m still unpacking a suit case from a trip I took back in March so I’m that kind person on my timing. So maybe I’ll have my tree up by New Years.
Can’t stand a cockroach man. I spend way too much time in fear of those things. Do they have therapy for this?? Y’all think my insurance would pay for it if they did? LOL imagine walkin into EAMC & saying “hi there, Karen..I have an appointment in the cockroach division”
Literally tripped & fell so hard, tore a hole in my new pants from running from a GIANT cockroach. Our whole house shooketh when I hit the floor. Whole neighborhood thought we were under attack. Turns out it was just a piece of dust flying from my ceiling fan. Oh Ok.
@Sar_Roberts Hahahahaha omg. I literally told him this story as I’m CACKLING DROOLING LAUGHING and dead serious he says “yeah OK Sarah, that’s not funny, you could’ve really done some damage.” Hahahahaha man oh man can you come live with us?
Also, whenever I tweet, I say my tweets to myself in the voice that I know @Sar_Roberts would say them to herself in her best “Ann-Braxton” voice. Therefore, all my tweets are basically for Sarah. Only she will find them funny because only she will stay true to my character